Is there absolutely ANY indication on where a Xaela might start, or what class?

I think starting in Limsa Lominsa is probably best, as the Xaela come from outside of Eorzea. With Limsa Lominsa being a seafaring nation as well as more of a cultural melting pot than Ul'dah and Gridania, I feel like reasonably-informed outsiders would travel to Limsa over the other two. That and the generally high amount of personal freedom granted to individuals as a part of Limsa Lominsa's post-pirate culture seems like the kind of city that would have a huge draw for someone traveling to Eorzea from abroad.

Limsa is so decidedly "pirate-y" and nautical in nature, I guess I wonder if that really fits the Mongolian vibe that the Xaela are supposedly based on? Not that I know much of anything about Mongolians (Mongols?).

But then, a lot of Ul'dahn citizens are also "soft" and prone to whining. Raubahn and some of the more noteworthy gladiators are pretty rugged, but is their presence prominent enough to offset everything else?

Also, I've avoided spoiling events for myself to some extent, but Ul'dah was clearly a hugely important place during 2.55, and I was definitely hit pretty hard by those events. Although, that can always change; and I'm curious if Ul'dah remains important, or if it's more of a sidenote in Heavensward? Then again, Limsa had you interacting with Y'shtola, who I love, versus Thancred who I'm not a big fan of (though again, is maybe more relevant to the story, at least through what I experienced).

I dunno. I've tried leveling up two characters simultaneously -- one from Ul'dah, and the other from Limsa -- hoping there would be some kind of "Aha!" moment, where either city would magically seem to make more sense. No such luck as of yet, though.

You seem to want this decision taken out of your hands entirely by some concrete aspect of the game, but I don't think that exists for you. As has been mentioned, Limsa and Ul'Dah weren't made with the existence of Xaela immigrants in mind, their entire vibe and culture having developed completely Xaela-less, both in the actual game world and during real-life development. The Xaela themselves, meanwhile, have a (quite thorough) naming conventions thread and a character-creation summary screen to glean culture from and that's about it.

Many people have offered solid reasons for each city-state, with Limsa seeming to be the popular answer for a variety of reasons (I'm now Team Limsa, too). With the limited amount you've told us about your character, this is all we can do. Actually, that's probably the biggest reason this all isn't clicking for you in-game: you have no idea who your character actually is. Which isn't surprising! The game paints the WoL as a blank slate by default and provides precious few opportunities to define any kind of personality, and the Xaela don't have enough of a presence to tell you how you should act (never mind that they aren't exactly a monolithic culture to begin with).

But that does mean that to decide - to really make it click - you're gonna need to do a bit of legwork yourself. You need to define your character on paper (or in your brain) in a way that the game never will. There are lots of tools for role-players to do this around the internet; you might want to start here, on the FFXIV Roleplaying forums, as they're quite experienced in this area. As part of this process, you'll also need to give that Naming Conventions post a read, and decide which tribe you want your Xaela to belong to, as well as look at how that Tribe relates to others (if at all). You should probably then give yourself a primer on Mongolian culture to fill in any gaps (keeping in mind that the tribal practices supersede the Mongolian ones where they contradict). This will all give you a basic cultural background for your Xaela, and (provided s/he's not a black sheep) define your core values and what role you're used to playing in society and maybe even how they respond to other societies of certain types (if your tribe has specific relationships with another). THEN you can decide, based on either the classes available or local culture or both, what Eorzean city-state best suits you. And the key word there really is BEST, because it still won't be a 100% match, but you're a wandering adventurer who gets swept up into something much grander than a single city-state rather quickly anyways, so I think there's a pretty low need to fit in completely anyways.

For the record, here's my reasoning for starting in Ul'Dah. Keep in mind that I fashioned this after the fact, because I wanted to start as a Pugilist, so my process was a bit backwards from yours, but I think it's a reasonable example of basic extrapolation as character development:

Because the Raen are reclusive and solitary, I needed a reason for Ryuji to go to Eorzea in the first place. I decided that he had a curiosity and wanderlust that didn't quite fit into the rigid social conventions of his people; given the naming conventions, I assumed these to be similar to high-society Japanese social conventions, so that meant that I had to put Ryuji into a higher-class family. I went with merchant, because I didn't want him to be the outright son of a lord. I then needed a reason as to why he would be a Pugilist specifically, which isn't exactly a well-to-do fighting art. Thus, I developed a backstory where he rebelled in his youth by ditching the studies provided by his merchant family, who had little time for their fourth child, and often found himself scrapping with and causing trouble among the disaffected and low-born; thus, Pugilist suits his background.

But I needed a way to get him TO Eorzea and the Pugilist's Guild, so I had him disowned by his father for all the trouble he brought to the family name, only to be picked up as a ward by the governing family of his small town for his curious mind. Here, he was whipped into shape, but was still too unfocused and undisciplined to serve them as a warrior. One of the Hinoto combat masters knew of Hamon Holyfist's reputation and of his less-rigid Pugilist style, however, and suggested that Ryuji be sent abroad, where this foreign fighting style could bring craft to his unpolished street style and bring a unique flavor to the Hinoto name. And so, they sent Ryuji to Ul'Dah and the Pugilist's Guild specifically, and it was in his travels to get there that Ryuji gained disdain for the Garlean forces occupying Othard - but that's a different story altogether.

As you can see, the need to explain those two basic aspects resulted in a massive exercise in extrapolation, and gave me the outline of a character that I can continue to flesh out and develop at my own leisure. And that's with the relatively little that Raen players have to go on! Imagine what you can do with all the tribal and historical Mongolian facts at your disposal!

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Originally Posted by Hinoto-no-Ryuji

FFXIV Roleplaying forums,

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I don;t want to hijack this thread, but I have a question about that site. How accepting is it to people that don't RP but still want to have a backstory for their character?

Ultimately it's up to you. It's been iterated time and again that there will not be a perfect match since we're not in Kansas on the Othardian steppe anymore. You're either a refugee or immigrant, so the culture of the city-state you're starting out in will not fit perfectly.

If it comes down to GLA or MRD, and you're dead set on making it logical for where a Xaela would start, please choose a clan. Some are coastal, some live on the steppes. If you're going with a coastal clan, do MRD. If you're going with a steppe clan, go with GLA. There. Problem solved.

As for story involvement in 3.x... without giving away too much, the Ul'dahn Revolution arc from 2.x is resolved in bits and pieces until a (somewhat poor) conclusive ending to the arc about halfway through 3.0. Other than that, it's been all Ishgard all the time.

I visit that site occasionally, and I feel that it's pretty open to all comers who want to learn more about role-playing.

Incidentally, role-playing means different things to different people. And, as you've described, I'm the type who spends hours dwelling on my character's backstory and current development, but I never bothered to be "in-character" while playing the game.

One, it's too much effort, game mechanics must come first. Second, it's pretty much impossible to stay immersed in my character when there are a hundred other head-canons running at the same time.

Adding on to it, the community is pretty friendly! I posted this thread a while back with some character concepts I wanted to developed, though due to exams I was pretty much a dropped projectfor me. http://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/showthread.php?tid=14219

Lengthening my post to 10 characters so I can post it....

Alright I'll see if I can get an account there and flesh out my character's back-story

To rerail the topic, I'll say that you should consider Cilla's advice, OP

I personally think Ul'dah would be the place to be.
They are the only place with refugees that I can see. Ala Mihgan mostly. But it seems where the refugees end up regardless of circumstance.
It's the city most friendly to refugees.

Limsa is a city of outlaws and New Gridania doesn't seem welcoming to outsiders at all as they'll upset the balance with nature.
Which kind of leaves Ul'dah by default. But depending on what you decide as your own backstory you can make any city work.
After Fantasia'ing my main I'm still developing my back story.

It's true that the NINJA Doma are in La Noscea but that's mostly just convenience as the rest of them ended up in Mor Dhona.

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Originally Posted by Terin

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To me, it sounds like the backstory in your head is about whether or not a Xaela fits as someone who originates from the starting city. None of our characters originate from our starting city, any Au Ra most of all as they don't even come from this continent. Whether a starting city "fits" doesn't seem to really factor into it, as it just happens to be the city you showed up at first. There is no city that fits for the Xaela as they are completely foreign. They're all immigrants at this point, really. There's no starting city with any notable Au Ra population, so any starting city is as viable for the nomadic life of your average adventurer as the others. You're showing up fresh off the boat/carriage no matter what race you choose.