Having issues with socializing with people

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Originally Posted by dank1

People who go out saying theyre introverts arent really introverts, youd be too shy to admit you were one if you really were

But yeah say hi to people and anything you really wanna say, use that immunity you get behind a computer screen to your advantage, it's what i do

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In real life the only social contact i have is with my family and the cashier in stores, but in game its diffrnt and oke i know its easier to talk to people since its not in person but my social skills arnt as developt as others so it always or mostly leads to confusion and also that people get me wrong when i say thing that seem oke to me but are actuall not ok to say at all there are always these bariers that i have when it comes to social interaction and since that happens i never know if i should talk or not since i all ways mess it up for my self and i avoid it by not saying much

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Originally Posted by WubstahWulf

i have switch between 5 FC's and i always felt like i was on the background of everything.

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I'd suggest looking for a smaller FC. Avoid those ones with like 200+ people at all cost because you just get lost in the crowd. Look for new FC's that are building up or build one yourself. An FC with 15-20 people are imo the best ones to be in. It still takes time to get to know people, but you dont get lost in the void of 50 people in the chat. Try to get comfortable with the FC and slowly move into voice chat. Even if you're not talking, just hang out until you get comfortable with it.

I agree with joining a small FC. Starting one just might be a little too much trouble, unless you've got friends who are willing to join. And of course, the hardest thing to do when it comes to meeting new people, is the most simplest you could do. Just say "hi." You'll never make many friends if you wait for them to make the first move.

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Originally Posted by Ransu

I'd suggest looking for a smaller FC. Avoid those ones with like 200+ people at all cost because you just get lost in the crowd. Look for new FC's that are building up or build one yourself. An FC with 15-20 people are imo the best ones to be in. It still takes time to get to know people, but you dont get lost in the void of 50 people in the chat. Try to get comfortable with the FC and slowly move into voice chat. Even if you're not talking, just hang out until you get comfortable with it.

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Cliques are a bigger problem.

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Originally Posted by Twilite

Cliques are a bigger problem.

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That doesn't really happen in smaller FC's.

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Originally Posted by Ransu

That doesn't really happen in smaller FC's.

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Smaller FCs can actually be less willing to take in new people because they've already got a "clique" formed and don't really want anyone else in. Otherwise they would have joined an FC together rather than make one themselves. Not all FCs/guilds are like this, but it's definitely harder to get in them.

This game in particular it can be a challenge because a vast part of the player base doesn't normally play MMOs, and aren't privy to being in social groups for this kind of thing. So they get very selective in who they play with.

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Originally Posted by Everlyrical

I agree with joining a small FC. Starting one just might be a little too much trouble, unless you've got friends who are willing to join. And of course, the hardest thing to do when it comes to meeting new people, is the most simplest you could do. Just say "hi." You'll never make many friends if you wait for them to make the first move.

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This. You really have to make an effort yourself too. I know it's hard, but you have to speak up. Join in the fc chat. Ask if people want to do anything. Offer to run dungeons when people need them. I've seen plenty of people who join fcs, and then never say anything except "hello" when they log in, and often log off without a word.

Also remember, it can take time. It's hard to make good friends immediately. But you need to show you want to be involved.

Don't be afraid to change fcs, but think about your own behavior too.

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Originally Posted by dank1

People who go out saying theyre introverts arent really introverts, youd be too shy to admit you were one if you really were

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I... don't really want to be rude, but that's just a big load of taurean excrement. How would you know how long it takes a person to actually make that post? Yes, for some people who are introvert in real life, it's easier to socialize online (I'm one of those), but for others it might take them an hour or two just to post a "simple" post of three lines, re-reading it or second-guessing themselves or worrying both that people will read it AND that people will ignore it. Or all of the above.
That's like telling someone seeking health care that they were obviously not ill/injured, because if they were they wouldn't have made it to the health centre or hospital.

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Originally Posted by DreadRabbit

Smaller FCs can actually be less willing to take in new people because they've already got a "clique" formed and don't really want anyone else in. Otherwise they would have joined an FC together rather than make one themselves. Not all FCs/guilds are like this, but it's definitely harder to get in them.

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Both yes and no =) I'm in a smaller FC for various reasons, and while we have expanded from the initial four people (two of which are on hiatus atm), all of our recruitments have been with the "how do we mesh with this person both on a social level and on a game skill level?" mindset. It's not exactly because we're a "clique", but more because A: we wanted to form a static that could work together, and B: we didn't want anyone to feel left out because of insecurities/disagreements.

But yes, smaller FCs can be trickier to get into without knowing one of the current members, so in that aspect I agree.

Im currently on EU-Lich and I'm having the same problems as you have. I was in a FC with nearly 5 ppl of which only 3 were actually online. Though they were nice to me and always tried to help me but they are married in game and when I see them together I can not help but feel lonely and left out. I am also this kind of person that does not talk much, heck I only speak when I am spoken to! So I as well am looking for a place and for people to feel at home with. I also have autism which gives me quite the bit of grief in trying to socialize and such. Though in real life I'm working even there I dont feel at home since the knowledge was passed unto them that I had autism. All I want is not feel lonely and have a FC to call home in FFXIV and make my playing more enjoyable. I posted an thread on to ask if there were people with autism on EU-lich but nobody responded to it yet :(

The best advice I can give you is, keep trying.
I don\\'t have autism or anything like that but I have had anxiety issues, however without psychoanalysing it too much I do believe anxiety is an inherent issue amongst the Internet generation and it\\'s very under reported. So my point is, you are far, far from alone and you will find a group of people where you feel comfortable, it just takes some looking around.

Stay strong.