Joke Hotfixes for 3.0

*Fixed an issue where Dragoons who attempted to fly the new flying mounts, would use AI to determine the height of soaring was far too great.

- Simultaneously, the Dragoons will stop automatically using the Jump macro to dismount.

- Lastly, if a player controls the Dragoon to use their Jump action to dismount, they will stop face-planting to a grisly death.

- The Support role has been added to the game in preparation for the release of 4.0.
* There are currently no plans to create a job to fill the Support role in 4.0.

- The Red Mage job has been added to the game in the Healer role. It uses 2-handed staves as its primary weapon, and it's only abilities are Refresh and Haste.

- Fixed an issue wherein Landslide's graphic failed to follow the target after Titan had begun casting. Players should now be able to see the Landslide follow them wherever they go.
* This fix only changes the visual effect. The primary effect is unchanged.

>An issue where the end credits were not being displayed correctly has been solved: Those responsible have been sacked.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skullmaker

>An issue where the end credits were not being displayed correctly has been solved: Those responsible have been sacked.

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+1 for you good sir for the Monty Python reference.

Hotfix:
-Fixed an issue where the job icon for Dark Knight was the Batman symbol. However, we still intend to implement the Batmobile as the Dark Knights "Tankless Job" mount.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Coltvoyance

Hotfix:
-Fixed an issue where the job icon for Dark Knight was the Batman symbol. However, we still intend to implement the Batmobile as the Dark Knights "Tankless Job" mount.

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They actually do a pretty direct allusion to Batman with the DK armor. Take a close look at the gauntlets. Notice anything?

"Added an item to the cash shop: the 2.55 Skip. Upon purchase, players will be given instant access to Ishgard upon talking to the NPC quest giver and receive iLevel 80 gear (relics must be obtained separately). Players must've completed the quest "Ultimate Weapon. "
Quests leading up to 2.55 after this quest will not be marked as completed and will have to be done separately.

"To alleviate the gap in the main scenario between levels 46 and 49, Gold rewards in FATES and Levequests that are level 45 and higher will be given a 15% increase in XP".

Due to complaints about healers not DPSing all heal spells have been removed.

General:
Passive mana regeneration has been removed. Players must now return to an Aetheryte crystal to restore MP. This effect has a 10 minute cooldown period.
Due to player concerns over the use of the Duty Finder while companion chocobos are active, chocobos have been removed.
The game is now 10% harder in vague, nondescript ways.

Classes:
Due to fan demand about monks attacking with their bare fists, monk weapons and all of their benefits have been removed from the game. "Fists of Fire's" effect has been increased to 10% to compensate.
"Fists of Fire" has been removed. "Fists of Wind" now increases damage done by 10%, in addition to its other effect.
"Fists of Wind" has been removed.
"Twin Snakes" is no longer considered canon by Kojima.
"One Ilm Punch" now has a maximum range of one ilm.

The Scholar pets "Eos" and "Selene" now count as party members, similar to chocobo companions.
"Sacred Soil's" effects are reduced in areas without any soil around.
"Eye for an Eye" can now only be used twice.

"Presence of Mind" has had its cooldown increased to 180s, up from 90s.
"Stoneskin" now prevents the target from moving or taking any actions until it's removed.
"Presence of Mind" has had its cooldown decreased to 90s, down from 180s.
"Enhanced Raise" adds a 15% chance to be taken literally, raising the body higher and higher until it can no longer be targeted.
"Presence of Mind" has been removed. Damn it we don't know what to do with it!

Pressing the Jump key as a Dragoon now places all "Jump" skills on cooldown.
"Piercing Talon's" damage has been reduced by 5%.

Ninja characters who are present when the final boss of a dungeon is defeated are now automatically rewarded any loot that drops and are then removed from the dungeon.
Failing a Mudra combination now results in the rabbit slaying the Ninja.

"Bloodbath's" effect is reduced for every piece of clothing you have on. You can't bathe while clothed, silly!
"Enhanced Foresight" now allows a Marauder to see which party member will stand in the bad first.

"Swiftsong" is now sung 3% more swiftly.
"Mage's Ballad" now only functions on White Mage and Black Mage.
"Misery's End" now makes the user feel 30% less miserable.

"Hallowed Ground" now only works when standing in a Scholar's "Sacred Soil" effect.
"Flash" will now result in arrest if used in any city or near an Aetheryte.

"Apocatastasis" has had its effects changed to be more in line with its name. Surely we don't need to explain what the spell does now!
"Flare" now increases enmity against T-Rex enemies by 800% in addition to its current effects.

"Ruin" has received a new icon.
"Shadow Flare" now pushes targets out of its radius. This will make it easier for the tanks to always reposition the mobs so none of them stand in the AoE.

Love the Jurassic Park reference.

Patch Notes:
- As a tribute to Final Fantasy history, the Fat Chocobo mount can now be used to store items.

Known issues to be addressed:
- Due to a technical glitch, items stored in the Fat Chocobo mount cannot be retrieved.

Hotfix:
- Fixed an issue where items stored in the Fat Chocobo mount could not be retrieved. This was accomplished by reseting the Fat Chocobo mount inventories. There are no plans to reimburse players for items lost at this time as our primary focus is on making sure 3.0 continues running smoothly.

-Due to server strain, Ishgard will only have one housing ward.

-Due to clipping with armors, Au'Ras that want to wear helms will have their horns cut off. Au'Ra horns take 1 in game week to grow back, and while horns are gone, sound will not be available.

-Due to the possible racial back lash, lotion will be available for Xaela Au'Ra that removes their black scales.

-Au'ra eyes that have Limbral Rings in them now act like head lights on a car. Randomly at night, NPC deer will jump in front of your character while running or using a chocobo on the land. Also, while at night, enemies are more alerted to the Au'Ra's presence if they have Limbral Rings. On the up side, dungeons are well lit.

-Due to pathing issues, Au'Ra with the spikey tails will cause amputation of other players legs that might run too close behind them, causing the other player to fall down and scream in agony for several weeks.

-Due to the funny animations with jumps, dragoons can now accidentally jump over a target and all jumps have different ranges. If target is missed the target will take no damage, and the dragoon will land on their head and break their neck, dying instantly.

-Paladin Circle of Scorn has been replaced with a disco globe animation that lasts 15 seconds instead. Enemies struck by the lights now boogie uncontrollably for the duration.

-Warriors can now be dazed if too many spiney moves are used too close to one another.

-Summoners now summon real summons, however, they are unable to be controlled, and they will attack enemies and friendlies as well as the summoner themselves.

-Scholars have been given the ability Summon: Navi. Once every 5 seconds, their chat log will be spammed with "Hey! Listen!" Followed by an RMT gil seller message. Whether Navi is out or not, RMT messages will still annoy the player.

-The funny bunny has been removed as the Ninja "Oopsie" animation. Rabbit Stew is now available for Culinarians. Ninjas will now be shown a picture of their family and told they bring them shame when they mess up a Mundra.

-Monks have had their weapons replaced with straw brooms, and must now take a vow of non-violence and be retired from the game. No real change has occurred.

-Bards now have to compete in Eorzea's X Factor in order to be a bard. It is held once a month, and only the winner gets the job crystal for Bard. New Songs have been added, including: Song of Storms, You are my Sunshine, These boots are made for walkin', Sexy Back, Ice Ice Baby, I'm a little tea cup, Hot Cross Buns, It's Raining Men, YMCA, and I've got you babe.

-White Mages have been given the Marilyn Monroe animation each time they cast Aero.

-Black Mages have been given a job mount called The Elemental Wheel. It is a unicycle that requires precise player controls and balance mechanics on par with Surgeon Simulator to use.