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From my experience, if my queue time is over 20 minutes, I cancel it and requeue (any longer and odds are you've been put in a dead queue. ie: other players in your data center who are queuing are being setup for a different match, thus yours will never fill).
There are times when I've canceled and requeued and an instant 'join in progress' pops up.
So usually how we go about this is we have PvP linkshells.
If it pops for someone, they tell the LS it popped.
Everyone else continually cancels and re-confirms queue. If the match is short folks, you will be thrown in. (must have in-progress clicked).
Edited for addendum.
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Secure queues are longer than normal, but that's to be expected. I don't know how Slaughter queues are - I have no love for that mindless zerging.
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Wolves den (any level and i synced) up to roughly 5 hours
Secure last time i queued 2 hours 4 mins
slaughter 30mins to a hour