My advice to you OP is a realisation I came too recently, also in regards in the extreme primals.
We are what? 2 weeks since the patch and therefor the majority (but not all) of the players queing up for the hardest content in the game are not going to be pleasant. They are dedicated at best, elitist and obnoxious at worse. It was the same not long after launch with Titan HM and getting relics, only if you go and join a group now going for their first relic you will generally find a much nicer crowd than you would have back then.
It sounds to me like you're not part of that hardcore crowd, just like me, and so the best thing to do is dial it back a little. I have done so and am having a much better time. Think about EX content in a month or two and I bet you will find your groups much more accommodating.
