"Everyone's so open and friendly" is a lie

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Originally Posted by Rinhi

people were having a civil discussion about various aspects of the community and experiences of it, but apparently that was worth removing?

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Hi, just to be little clearer. I reported no one and read the thread very loosely, got nothing against this thread. It is cool that we are talking about this when the playerbase is growing.
I think my very original esoteric point was that: yeah, I believe the ff14 community is reasonably friendly for online game community, claim of friendliness and openness is nor lie but not 100% truth in every situation always, either. As should be expected. We are just people after all.

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Originally Posted by Adeacia

All this talk about swearing and it's something I've never even done before in my life. I'm in my mid 30s. Only time I've said such words is when I'm reading dialog out loud for my YouTube lets play channel. Even then there are some words I refuse to say. Never found it hard.

Also, such words are very often used as insults, but if everyone uses them on everyone else, is it really an insult anymore?

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An insult will always been an insult. What words being use have little to do with it, one can insult someone without even swearing. It is the intention behind the words that matter

I curse when I done stupid thing, I get frustrated by my wrong doing, but I never got warning or get ban. I do not channel my frustration toward other players.

It is not the simply saying a curse word use swearing get anyone in trouble but finger pointing and name and shame. It is up to SE to review cases by cases if there is any offence. Like we could get arrested swearing in public but only in very extreme cases like obviously antisocial behaviour or threaten someone.

I will say one of the things i find kind of weird is the fact that a game that has a built in censor has a really weird stance when it comes to “profanity.” Like….you literally have a built in censor filter that people have to actively turn off. If they turn it off is it not their fault at that point? If there’s a censor filter with a toggled feature then i think at that point some profanity should be allowed lol.

It's kind of weird that so many people are latching onto the "swearing" part of this whole thing.

Like swearing, as said before, is not the problem. The problem is that whenever some people feel inconvenienced in a video game they lose their minds and start harassing the people that aren't living up to their own personal arbitrary standards.

And then, on top of that, just because YOU might be angry and in your feefees about something, doesn't mean you have the right to start being a complete jerk to everyone - whether you're swearing at them or not.

Are that many people so emotionally stunted? "It's natural" blah blah blah. As if we as people aren't capable of higher thinking and self-control.

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Originally Posted by Exosapien

Are that many people so emotionally stunted? "It's natural" blah blah blah. As if we as people aren't capable of higher thinking and self-control.

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Kinda ironic to see that while you got ppl who says "muh my feelings" for absolutly anything that do bother them in life especially on internet and ppl are all nice about it, but when it comes to anger it's not feelings anymore you "deal with it that's not our problem".
Can't wait for you to say that the next time someone is whinning on any thread in the future :D

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Originally Posted by Izscha

Kinda ironic to see that while you got ppl who says "muh my feelings" for absolutly anything that do bother them in life especially on internet and ppl are all nice about it, but when it comes to anger it's not feelings anymore you "deal with it that's not our problem".
Can't wait for you to say that the next time someone is whinning on any thread in the future :D

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Your anger literally is your own problem.

I don't understand your point, or your assertion of my future actions.

When I used the word "you" it wasn't specific to any individual so please don't take it so personally.

The craziest thing about this thread is all the wild assumptions people made in the earlier pages about OP because they poorly represented their own opinion. They didn't ask to call people slurs or insult them. The worst they even implied was "being rude," which is...broad. That can jump from anything like, "You're doing the mechanic wrong," to "you're terrible at this game," depending who you ask.

It's really telling that people immediately resorted to questioning their maturity or inferring they cannot handle things like, "an adult," despite the fact that they explicitly asked for the ability to directly disagree or even challenge someone else's viewpoint like an adult in order to settle their differences. Even some people replying about "responding calmly," as if OP themselves, in their two whole posts I might add, ever got overly aggressive or toxic.

You don't have to agree with them but the complete and utter lack of self-awareness from some of you people is astonishing. The fact that you immediately jump for the jugular and question OP's character speaks volumes on its own.

I have no horse in the race of "is FFXIV secretly toxic or not?" but I'm also tired of how every time this topic comes up whoever brought it up is usually proven right. A very good amount of comments were posted for the intent of picking fights or just to call people jerks or names. You'd figure the forums would want to set a good example and apologize for their experience and attempt to assuage their worries or something. Nope though, gotta immediately start implying or directly suggesting OP is either the problem or that they only thing they desire is chaos.

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Originally Posted by Exosapien

Your anger literally is your own problem.

I don't understand your point, or your assertion of my future actions.

When I used the word "you" it wasn't specific to any individual so please don't take it so personally.

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I did not in fact, just pointing out that it's easy to say this to "the mean guys with anger" but if you have this kind of comment on anger i do hope to see you saying the exact same thing to anyone else that brings up their feelings on anything and you'll come just like here like "Hey stop whinning control yourself like anyone else".
Something do tell me that you wont do it, because it's mean when it comes to anything that isn't anger and that's my point.

This thread: "You're the bad guy.. n-not me!!!"

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Originally Posted by LittleImp

These types of threads always make me wonder what kind of real-world experiences / background people have had, because people on both sides of the equation always seem so extreme.

Sure, being pointlessly abusive on a video game is gross, particularly if it's just for the satisfaction of harming others.

But on the other hand, frustration is a really common thing, and you run into people venting their frustration in pretty much all aspects of daily public life. It's a fairly normal part of human interaction, so it's weird to hold people to such a bizzarely contrived high standard around it on a video game of all things.

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I think in most of the cases, if both parties keep talking and explaining long enough, and are both willing to listen (not just butting heads over some words and assumptions), most people will find they effectively agree at least 90%. It’s just less interesting as a discussion :D

I do have to say tho, after having lived for years with someone who was quite a bit more explosive than I am, that I can find it stressful and silly at the same time. Flipping your lid over every minor annoyance life throws at you is just not worth it and intrusive to others. I value self control and being considerate of others, and those experiences reaffirmed the intrinsic value of that for me.

I’m far more strict on myself there than on others tho. I’ve played mmorpg’s for over 20 years and I’ve reported someone maybe 5 times in all that time. I’ve had many more times where someone would be rather… ‘expressive’ and either I just raise an eyebrow and then just pay no attention to them, or tell them it won’t help the situation at hand, and let’s go do this or that. I’ll usually assume they’ve had a bad day or are thoroughly fed up for good reason. Still, I don’t view that as an excuse for it, simply an explanation. The fact that something is ‘human behaviour’ doesn’t automatically mean it’s great behaviour. And people can be called out on that, hopefully consider that that kind of emotional venting can interfere with someone else’s experience, and maybe take some responsibility for their behaviour there. Or not, people are free to dismiss it. But then they should also accept it can have a response in return which they might not like.