Going through so much depression and this game is helping me immensely

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Originally Posted by Jeeqbit

Someone being rude in a dungeon can ruin the entire month of someone with no mental problems and make them apprehensive about ever queueing for one again. The effect of a rude person in a dungeon cannot be understated.

Giving advice to a stranger you just met is probably going to be interpreted as you implying they are playing badly. They probably aren't wrong for interpreting it that way either.

Telling them they are playing badly is rude. As I said, being rude can leave a footprint in their mind for a month or more. That's why it's best to just give advice when it's asked for, necessary to defeat a boss, or when you know them outside of the dungeon and aren't trying to type while fighting.

We also have to remember that most people don't do a dungeon to play optimally, they do it to enjoy the story or unwind and the last thing they probably want is someone to disrupt that with their "advice".

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Depends on what they have done, or if you knew the person. I had an ex friend who became a stalker to me in game, and in real life. At one point he threatened to.. assault me in the.. well you know kind of way. It was random, he just entered my private apartment in front of my friend, and that was that. We just left and hoped he wouldn't find us. :X

Went on a date a month later irl and he followed me in front of the movie theater, because he recognized me. My boyfriend was furious.

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Originally Posted by DamianFatale

I love this. People often get angry and upset instead of looking at the bigger picture. We really don't have to put each other down. It's not like the game is made by us. We misdirect our anger instead of putting it in a healthier place where it belongs.

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Some ppl just cannot be proven wrong. That's why they fight hard to protect their argument lol

In general, this isn't the right or best thread to conflate with the old advice-giving debate. Not cool, don't do it.

I found something last night I'd like to share, and I'd encourage anyone contributing thereafter to keep in mind before and when posting:

https://www.bustle.com/p/this-study-...rting-us-55314 (it says Americans, but doesn't just reference there, this is a global issue.)

I'll give some food for thought, based on the information in the article: if one in four people have a mental illness at some point in their lives, there's a likelihood someone you know - or have known or will know - or you yourself (past, present or future) could be part of this statistic (if we must, that means that one person in your dungeon group may not be making it up). As with any minority group, it serves to educate yourselves before commenting and being a good whack more thoughtful when doing so - though the guide I try to stick to is: ask how you can help if you understand, and ask (the right people, at the right time) for help to understand if you don't. At all other times, you keep shtum because you have nothing of value to add.

I'm actually of the belief that everyone could use (CBT*) therapy, regardless of if they have any specific mental health problems, as this particular therapy is golden for figuring stressful situations out. Especially with the weight of the last year still hanging heavy for pretty much all of us - I'm still dealing with grief myself with the added feeling of utter helplessness from that and another situation which just happens to co-incide, and find it hits when I least expect it to - it would be great if the stigma towards therapy and mental health could be dropped, and a kinder, more helpful and useful outlook adapted.

Also, online therapy is a thing now, so if anyone needs someone qualified to speak to and can't get out to it in person for obvious reasons, it might be worth looking and seeing if there's something that can work that way for you.

Now if anyone wants to start a new thread in good faith discussing how mental health can impact gameplay in this particular game, and how you can figure group dynamics in duties out, then it could be a step forward in the community's understanding to do so. I'll certainly be happy to add to it.

Lastly, I wish each and every one of you health, mentally and physically; regardless of your beliefs and opinions.


*Cognitive Behavioural Therapy

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Originally Posted by DamianFatale

Depends on what they have done, or if you knew the person. I had an ex friend who became a stalker to me in game, and in real life. At one point he threatened to.. assault me in the.. well you know kind of way. It was random, he just entered my private apartment in front of my friend, and that was that. We just left and hoped he wouldn't find us. :X

Went on a date a month later irl and he followed me in front of the movie theater, because he recognized me. My boyfriend was furious.

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Have you tried blacklisting them irl?

I've been a part of the mental health system for a good portion of my life, and i can tell you that the area of New York that i live in alone has seen a dramatic uptick in new mental health patients and cases within the 2020-2021 calendar according to a local psychologist I spoke with recently, so I hope you do not feel that you are alone in feeling this way.

Medication and Counseling when available can certainly be a good thing, but social engagement of any kind, whether it be online or offline; is highly recommended and often vital to good mental health, so a online game like Final Fantasy 14 is definitely a great outlet for connection if you are able to connect with the right people, so I'm happy to read this is the case for you. :)

This game has improved my own mental health in many ways thanks to the people I had met and bonded with over the years, so do not hesitate to continue to use FFXIV as an anchor when you need it.

I feel the same, OP! I'm swamped with work and taking care of a new puppy, making my psychiatric needs taxing, so in turn the depression just stays like clouds of gloom in Mor Dhona. When I can squeeze in me time, I go straight to my couch and play. It's honestly what I look forward to the most when I'm away from it, just to be able to relax with controller in hand.

Something about the act of completing quests and leveling up jobs, obtaining new pretty glamours, is so rewarding. And with somebody with executive functioning issues, god is that a boost of serotonin and pride! Just learning the DNC job and getting it down was enough to put me in good spirits yesterday morning!

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Originally Posted by HollyJollyPaca

I feel the same, OP! I'm swamped with work and taking care of a new puppy, making my psychiatric needs taxing, so in turn the depression just stays like clouds of gloom in Mor Dhona. When I can squeeze in me time, I go straight to my couch and play. It's honestly what I look forward to the most when I'm away from it, just to be able to relax with controller in hand.

Something about the act of completing quests and leveling up jobs, obtaining new pretty glamours, is so rewarding. And with somebody with executive functioning issues, god is that a boost of serotonin and pride! Just learning the DNC job and getting it down was enough to put me in good spirits yesterday morning!

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I actually a adopted a dog a year ago in order to help with my mental health, and suicidal feelings. It actually worked a lot for me. Anytime I feel like hurting myself, I just go cuddle with my big husky. I couldn't possibly leave him alone in the world. He's just.. the best. I wouldn't ever want him to cry.

If I even think of leaving the house for more than a day, he cries and whines with my roommates when I'm not home. Imagine forever, I don't think I could do that to him.

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Originally Posted by DamianFatale

I actually a adopted a dog a year ago in order to help with my mental health, and suicidal feelings. It actually worked a lot for me. Anytime I feel like hurting myself, I just go cuddle with my big husky. I couldn't possibly leave him alone in the world. He's just.. the best. I wouldn't ever want him to cry.

If I even think of leaving the house for more than a day, he cries and whines with my roommates when I'm not home. Imagine forever, I don't think I could do that to him.

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That's actually one of the reasons I got him! He's going to be trained as my service dog since I have major anxiety and autism that interfere with just doing things. And while he's a handful right now and causing me so much grief, I love him to death and he's my will to live. I can't imagine leaving him behind cause of my whole mindset of "nobody can take care of him properly but me".

Hopefully one day when he's grown he'll be at my side as I play or even going to a fanfest to keep me calm. C:

As anperson who has been diagnosed with anxiety and depression from oh ... 20 odd years, mmo games have helped and made things worse.

I’ve learned not to tell strangers about my issues, even though they share theirs or seem friendly. Had that backfire multiple times. Had an FC leader kick me because I was going through a rough time and they didn’t want to deal with it ( they got a new job and apparently I didn’t word my concerns correctly)

I play games to relax and yes, to a degree, run from real life issues. It was worse when I was in my 20s and not correctly diagnosed. Was even addicted to games (something that is more and more being addressed as a real addiction like to drink and recreational meds etc). But now in my 40s I’ve learned to control that with medication, alarms, and therapy

I’ve left the RP scene as it made my anxiety and depression worse, especially from those who said they were my friends, blurring Ic and OOC to extremes. Made me take long breaks after that. Heck ai moved to Balmung to do RP with someone, only to have them give mix signals and leave me with horrendous anxiety afterwards

Eh sorry for the rant. I do like to fish and fight with my Trust and Squadrons when ai don’t want to deal with people. If I ever find someone here who doesn’t judge and actually accepts me for who I am to play with, I’d be happy

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Originally Posted by HollyJollyPaca

That's actually one of the reasons I got him! He's going to be trained as my service dog since I have major anxiety and autism that interfere with just doing things. And while he's a handful right now and causing me so much grief, I love him to death and he's my will to live. I can't imagine leaving him behind cause of my whole mindset of "nobody can take care of him properly but me".

Hopefully one day when he's grown he'll be at my side as I play or even going to a fanfest to keep me calm. C:

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I'd never bring my husky to fanfest. He gets spooked by large crowds, but that's because he is a rescue who needs a lot of extra attention. Honestly though, I'm not that different. I feel like me and my dog are similar. c:

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Originally Posted by DamianFatale

I'd never bring my husky to fanfest. He gets spooked by large crowds, but that's because he is a rescue who needs a lot of extra attention. Honestly though, I'm not that different. I feel like me and my dog are similar. c:

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I don't have a husky, but me and my dog are one in the same too in this respect. lol

I'm glad your found help for your depression. You are valid and wonderful. Pride 2021.