When I see the requirements of memories, it is already an eye opener. Its just not worth it.
The old relic quests should be nerfed by a large margin imo.
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They are already have been nerfed. I know it's still awful but yeah :-). I've heard stories about atma farming... well It was much worse than today. Just look for a guide - here's one for the HW relic https://www.reddit.com/r/ffxiv/comme..._weapon_guide/ . A guide will make it easier because you get a roadmap what's the fastest way. Akhmorning released a very cool guide for the SHB relics https://www.akhmorning.com/resources...-relic-weapons.
I'm usually grinding during patches aka content holes.
I'm sure they will nerf the SHB relic steps further during EW's patch cycles. So maybe you wait for that before you're starting if you decide you'll like the SHBs style most.
A number of the steps do come from other game content that you might be doing anyway, depending on how you spend your time in the game.
The 3 x 20 memories expects your full attention, unfortunately (other than if you do FATEs while queuing for dungeons), but the step after that is doing levelling roulettes or level 60 dungeons. Others require alliance raids or Palace of the Dead, so if you're planning to do those activities anyway then it's possible to overlap them with relic progress – though getting them lined up itself may be considered unenjoyable work.
End gear usually gets you through 1/2 of a new expansion, roughly lv X5 X6 ish, so its really up to you if you want to continue bozja weapon.