So this is not a good opinion to have. For one thing, Tanking is the safest role to play, because Defense and Magic Defense do matter. I'm not sure what the math shows these days, but I think back in Heavensward someone mathed it out, and every 600 defense equates to something like 10% mitigation. Very few attacks in the game deal set damage or HP% based damage, though they do exist, even so Tanks have the most HP and self sustaining abilities to deal with them on. Exceptions are like Ozma balls and stuff. In dungeons your defense does matter. Try tanking Holminster Switch in i290 gear, you'll get torn to shreds.
For the other thing, healers are supposed to heal you, and they will heal you. Healers have powerful OGCDs that are designed to heal most or all of anyone's HP, to be used at the Healer's discretion. A lot of healers like to plan around these cooldowns, because it lets them contribute to ending the damage that you are taking sooner, so that they have to cast less healing, but also so that everyone else can use less cooldowns, less button presses for attacks etc. The best ways to use these heals is to let the Tank's HP resource diminish until it's almost depleted, and then fully restore it with a single heal. This is not panic, though for some people, these options are considered only in case of emergency. There are also healers who tab out of the game for a 15~20 seconds to look at something else and tab back in, press these same heals, and then tab back out. I wouldn't use the term panic healing.
To me it sounds like you don't like playing Tank. You should play something else if you do not desire to perform a Tank's duty to the party. That duty is, of course, allocating and timing your cooldowns appropriately for each different style of content, while trying to take as much damage in place of your party members as you possibly can. You also need to limit damage done to yourself in anyway that you can by wearing the best armor available to you, dodging attacks that can be dodged, and mitigating party wide attacks that cannot be avoided.
