My retainers are either lazy or thieves.

I love it when mine bring back couches. Much to the dismay of FC mates and friends, I have to make the curb jokes. It is essential.

Yesterday my retainer decided to go the extra mile and grill the fish before giving it to me.

Nice to know they're thinking of me.

I think my retainers just picked up a ton of fish for cheap somewhere and threw them in the pond by my house. When they don't feel like robbing someone else going for a walk, they just fish something up and hand it to me. Then they'll bring me random dungeon gear for a day or two while the fish repopulate.

one of mine keep's bringing me retaner fant's XD and other that are lv 70 bring me FISH out of all things
a fliping fish O_O

Back when ventures were still regular items, a retainer once brought me back... a venture.

My miner somehow has managed to bring me not one, but two HQ hammerhead sharks and my fisher has brought me a tree. I really want to know where they're mining/fishing...

Blokeh: Hey Sarisa, my favourite Ul'Dah-based retainer, how's the Botany life working out?

Sarisa: Oh hey boss. Yeah, all good, thanks. Looking tip-top yourself, sir.

Blokeh: Aw stobbit, you'll have me blushing... so anyways, that quick venture you just been on. Get anything good? Some birch logs? A few sprigs of Rosemary? Maybe some sweet, sweet Cotton Bolls?

Sarisa: Kinda... I killed Titan and forged his heart into this giant claymore. Here, try it out.

Blokeh: o. 0

This is my new favorite thread <3

I once had a retainer bring back a roof, a housing exterior, and a banner. How the hell she managed to carry that back in her pack is still a mystery to me.