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I don't think it has anything to do with "respect". If your dying as healer, your dying, it doesn't matter the reason. You are still failing your team, which is why people mention it. If you are having trouble healing because of your ping then you should probably dps.
I'll never understand comments like: "then this is not meant for you". People are rude irl too, should we just delete ourselves from existance if "this world is not for us?". Why would one not be able to play what they enjoy because of people who didn't get educated as kids to have good manners? These people should be the ones getting discouraged by others to play MMOs, not the other way around.
Either way, OP I would suggest being the better human being (the ACTUAL human being) and train in controlling your emotions (not as easy as it sounds, takes time) and not let it get to you, because unfortunately it will be really hard for these people to learn respect as adults. Well, if they are teens maaaybe there still is some hope for maturity growth. >.>
Connection issues are just one of those things you aren't going to get much sympathy for. When you have someone running a solid connection with 150 ms ping then they aren't going to want to deal with a party member stutter-stepping hither and yon with their teleport latency. Understand that you're at a performance deficit, and accept the reason for it and that some people are going to be caustic and judgmental asshats because performance issues effect the group, and sometimes groups don't want to deal with problems beyond their control.
That being said have you tried any of the US servers? I know some of them recently relocated to California which might help your latency, though honestly if you're in rural AUS then you could just have to deal with what you got.