Mentors: What do you expect them to do?!

I provide advice if there is a wipe or if I can see something blatantly wrong, like someone wearing totally the wrong gear for their class.

That said, I think the biggest problem is that people who are not mentors forget that mentors are people too. Yeah, when you sign up you agree to be a example of good behavior to your fellow players, but that doesn't mean you never get frustrated or tired. Mentors make mistakes. Mentors can get irritated when others play ridiculously poorly (and ignore friendly advice to fix it). Mentors can be new to content or forget old content. Sometimes they may not notice another player is even having a problem that could benefit from advice. Sometimes just asking if someone wants advice is enough to set people off.

Expecting mentors to do exactly what you want them to do exactly when you want them to do it is what causes these issues. Realistic expectations, where?

That said, I don't really encounter this particular issue on the daily. I've met plenty of people who ignore desperately needed advice, but very few who actively lash out at you for offering it.

Mentors should be nice and ready to help when asked . maybe even go the extra mile when helping.

Being a mentor is like being a tank. Its a thankless job. How often do you actually thank a good tank during a speedrun or just when they're performing exceptionally. (By thank I mean like saying gj or so at the end and not just the comm) Since people berate or kick subpar tanks and don't show appreciation when its due. Mentors are the same way. A mentor who actually mentors is generally left even mildly unappreciated while those who shouldn't be are the ones who get all the attention. Its negative attention, but they get more than the actual ones. Its western culture making it this problem. I have a friend who's fluent in Japanese who made an alt in a JP server and boy did he say there was a difference. Of course there's rude and unsavory people everywhere you go no matter what, but he said mentors in JP servers run that system almost perfectly.

I've started to just use a macro that says,

"Hello, I've queued under mentor roulette and will be your mentor this run. If you have any questions, I will try my best to give you an accurate answer and will admit if I don't know or remember."

It's been met with a bit of hostility from some, but I just ended up using ":)" every time that happened and just do the run. If no one asks anything, I just simply don't say anything more than the macro, but if there are newer players, some tend to actually speak up and ask. Although I'm not a particular fan of being a passive mentor, it feels lazy, and enjoy being a more proactive one, I suppose it's less invasive, off-putting, or comes off less as a know-it-all and people tend to be more chill.

The only time I revert back to proactive mentor is when it's an extreme primal, or extreme-like, like Odin. Synced, Odin is a nightmare and I go in assuming it's going to wipe. A lot.

Overall, it seems like the mentor system failed only in the west. Go figure, that's really not surprising.

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Originally Posted by Hamada

Mentors should be nice and ready to help when asked . maybe even go the extra mile when helping.

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Actually this... but sadly nowadays....

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Originally Posted by JunseiKei

Overall, it seems like the mentor system failed only in the west. Go figure, that's really not surprising.

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...it's more an icon I personally run away from... another thing in this game which falls from fame to shame : /

"why are you so mean to the FT?... you are wearing a crown... o.o"
" 'cause I like the icon"
"...ok..."

As a mentor, I try to be as respectful and as understanding as I possibly can be, especially towards beansprouts or those new to a duty. I adjust my playstyle as much as I need to when paired with newer players that aren't as geared as I am to try and make their jobs easier. I can be extremely patient with regards to newcomers, and give them more benefit of the doubt than I do experienced players.

If another experienced player (or another "mentor") start giving someone new a hard time, I generally speak up on behalf of the new person if things get way too out of hand about how they're new to this duty, and to please try to remember what it was like when you were first here, or when you first started healing or tanking, and to please be respectful and understanding. I try not to engage in arguments with trolls, however, if I have a short fuse that day, I can't always stop myself from snapping on those that are just being plain abusive for no reason.

When people speak up in chat about being new, I generally welcome them to the duty, try to say something positive about it to break the ice (example: Wanderer's Palace HM - "I love this dungeon; some of the most epic background music around!"), and then ask if they would like pointers for the duty/boss fights. If a bonus message pops up but no ones says they're new, I generally just watch the group to see how things go, and if I notice a particular mechanic being failed more than once or twice, I kindly point it out in chat. If we end up wiping to a boss, I ask before the second pull if anyone would like any advice on how to handle the encounter. If I suspect that a tank is new, I generally give quick pointers on boss mechanics and how to tank them, even if no one asked for the advice. I only do this if I see the tank hesitating before pulling.

I don't always give advice on how to play jobs, as I don't consider myself an expert on every job in this game. However, if I see someone playing a job I do main (usually BRD, AST, or DRK), I try to offer them pointers if I think they may be struggling, or if they mention something about being new or rusty to a particular class/job.

I always say hello (or use my default greeting "o/") at the beginning of a duty, and I always say thank you to the group after it's over, even if the duty was a rough one, or if the group wasn't the best. I try to use :> or :3 or ^^ at the end of my advice to soften it, as I know text chat can be interpreted as cold or harsh some times, especially since I am generally a very blunt/straight-forward person who isn't very good at sugar-coating things, and my comments tend to come off as such.

I keep my crown on most of the time (although I did have it turned off for several weeks back before and after I took a break), and I always try to be polite in duties, even if I am in a bad mood or don't feel like teaching people that day. However, I don't like the mentality some people have where they expect mentors to always be willing to teach/carry players, as some days I am just not in the mood. I don't meet too many hostile players, but I have met some that I try to offer them advice, and they blow up at me for no reason.

I do not consider myself an expert at this game (I frequently joke that my crown is just a Burger King crown), and I know that I still have a ton of stuff that I need to learn. I do my best not to come off as any sort of elitist towards people, because I know that there are several things I still don't understand. I always feel bad when I land in a duty and cannot properly explain fights, because I know that, as a mentor, I should have basic knowledge of all duties included in Mentor Roulette. However, I find that people are very understanding when I say "Dang, I don't remember this duty at all; it's been like 20 years since I was last in here. XD" or "Crap, I completely forgot this entire fight...hopefully it will start coming back to me as we progress though!" I just try to do my best to understand mechanics and help out those who want my help, and to make this game as enjoyable for everyone else as I want it to be.

Like I said before, I'll admit that I lose my temper and my patience sometimes, but I try very hard not to take it out on the party. I may be grumbling to myself on the other side of the screen, but I do my best to remain as calm and as cool as a cucumber when around randoms.

That's what I think a mentor is, and what they should do.

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Originally Posted by Faliandra

I took my crown off long ago for various reasons

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yeah, me too. Still quite happy to help people to know mechanics if needed, or have patience when newer players are learning something, don't need any crown for that.

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Originally Posted by XiXiQ

yeah, me too. Still quite happy to help people to know mechanics if needed, or have patience when newer players are learning something, don't need any crown for that.

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yeah half of my fc as well... for me I personally never acquired the crown myself cause of those reasons x'D

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Originally Posted by AuRaBookworm

I'm sorry, but.. My god. What the heck do you expect them to do? You yell at them for doing their job, and then when they don't, you scold them anyway.

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As a non-Mentor who does not need mentoring, I expect a Mentor to serve three primary roles.

(1) They should be an experienced resource for various tactics in case anyone has forgotten or is struggling. Note that this does NOT mean telling people what to do in every fight, or piping up after every single mistake. Mentors should basically strive to be human versions of your favourite Wiki-style website; they're there if needed, and they're invisible if unwanted.

(2) In the event a player is repeatedly screwing up, the Mentor should take the lead in offering unsolicited advice, or initiating a vote-kick if the reaction to the advice is bad. I cannot stress enough that Mentors should NOT speak up if a player messes up a single time, unless the player in question asks for help; it's impossible to know whether it was a mistake or a lack of understanding. Nobody likes making a mistake and being immediately treated like a new player as a result.

(3) In the event there is a conflict between party members, a Mentor should be prepared to take the lead in settling everyone down, handling any necessary reports to GMs, or initiating vote-kicks. Other players might jump in, but the Mentor should be the real 'parent' of the group, so to speak.

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For what it's worth, when I see Mentors screwing up (or posting on the forums about a bad experience, oblivious as to the cause), it has to do with the unsolicited advice bit. I cannot stress enough that offering advice in this manner only pisses people off, even if they need it. People must be allowed a chance to learn from their mistakes in their own way, without heavy-handed guidance, before the 'teacher' steps in, so to speak.

I've been a Mentor since the program began and haven't really encountered the hostility others have stated, I mean hostility existed before the mentor program, I doubt it would get much worse with the program. That being said, I normally don't say anything unless someone is new and wants the help, or they are struggling with abilities/mechanics/etc. And even when I do, I do so with a very light touch. By doing that you will find the jerks and the ones who will genuinely want/accept your help. I wear my crown always, and with pride, because its a lot of work to just get that far, and it shows I am always willing and able to help. :D