I troubled mine with so long, I decided to say F it, and I just went something random. Took white hair, and the palest tone I could get (and the xaela really hit that next level pale). Funny enough though I actually really like it now, it works with every variation of lighting, lol. So it's really whatever happens in the moment. Throw something out there with the Au'ra, do something weird. May just click.
