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I always at least gear check my party before deciding how I'm going to run the dungeon (serial tank here). If they look good, larger test pull. If not, I slow down the run.
If people say they're new and ask questions, I'll anser
If they ask to slow down, I will. But say nothing...I'm assuming you know what to do and can run just fine according to the gear you have.
Explaining the content is fine and dandy, except it gets annoying when you need to do it for every single run you go on because of a new player who is either a brainless zombie tunnel-visioning idiot, someone who just doesn't care, and then the person who simply lacks the skill to even do the mechanics.
If you're new, and sane enough to play this game well, then do some research. You're not the first person to play this game. You don't need to reinvent the wheel.
Blame Square for making us run the same stuff over and over ad nauseum to the point that speed runs are the muscle memory norm.
I like speed runs when I'm, specifically, going for the tome reward, but I see what you mean. I had never done Copperbell Mines Hard until I saw I needed it for my ATMA book, so qued for it hoping for a leisurely stroll.
It seems like certain dungeons are tailor made for speed runs, and the folks I qued with were gunning to get it done fast.
Something I always do, and you might want to consider, is to watch a YouTube vid first before queing, just to make sure you understand all the mechanics.
MTQCapture has some great dungeon vids. They are fast, get right to the point and clearly explain the mechanics.
It helps to look up the mechanics beforehand if you can but barring that, if I'm tanking or healing and I see a new person I try to explain the fights as we come to them (especially as a tank since I set the pace). When you play an MMO you play with a whole community, some people in the community are more helpful or accommodating than others. It helps to join an FC, especially if you can run dungeons with them often and you meet a lot of really cool people. If you were on Lamia I'd invite you to mine, we even have a linkshell for new players to get help where people join as either teachers or students and teachers will drop whatever their doing to help a student.
Haven't seen this yet, unless I missed it so I'll throw it in here. There is always the party finder. I have yet to use it. Though I did party up with some vagabonds who were just roaming around outside Cutters Cry when I did it for my GC hunt. Guess they didn't want to use the DF. As soon as they saw me, "hey you going in there?", "I sure am", "take us with you", 'ok". Best and most fun dungeon run I have done yet.
Those vets are probably just "farming" the dungeon for the drops. Try to join a nice helpful FC and have fun doing dungeons.
I'd rather meet nice players and take a little longer to complete a dungeon than bored vets who can't even say "hi" and rush trought everything.
When I play my PLD, I always take the time to explain mechanics ( even if english isn't my first language). I never get mad if we wipe. I remember this one time in Bray normal @ second boss, when I just said " don't forget to sleep the boss when the add spawn" and then, the healer stopped healing me and we all died.
After we respawned, s-he said s-he just froze while figuring how to sleep. I can imagine him-her panicking behind his-her screen and I couldn't get upset because we all had in our life this moment when we get flustered because of stress or fear. So I told him-her to take it easy, and relax, and only focus on healing me while my friend ( who is BLM) would take care of the boss. We ended the dungeon without any more wipe and I could felt s-he was really happy and more confident over his-her own skills.
Most experienced players don't mind giving tips; but if you don't ask for any, they probably assume you already know what to do. Sounds to me as if that's mostly likely what's happening.
1. SE's fault for making people grind old dungeons for days.
2. Of course there are unpleasant people, it's the internet, but I think this issue partly stems from a lot of new players hating on you and your family if you try to give them tips.