I agree; I think it's insane how many high-grade mats are required for this 100% cosmetic change. :/
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Maybe AF armor will be upgraded ilvl 110+ like relic weapons, and this is one of the requirements :)
But I agree for cosmetic changes quite a big cost.
Short answer: they are absolutely right. If you can work out an arrangement where you help them and they get you the stuff, everyone wins.
You have absolutely no idea how much time, devotion, and resources it takes to be able to craft 3-star items. I have been been devoting most of my game time to crafting for two months (because I enjoy it) and I am still not yet in position to make 3-stars. I have also spent millions of Gil on just materia for my equipment melds, and I had been diligently farming my own materia.