skipping areas should be a group decision

I love it when the tank knows which rooms are pointless :)
Its bewildering when you get a group of synced people mostly from roulette and they still wanna waste time to get an allagan tin piece or 2 vials of ether, why..

I think the OP just made a mountain out of a molehill. All those paragraphs on group etiquette when most DF runs are silent affairs, leaving the tank to make assumptions on what the group wants to do. The default assumption is to skip areas with no/poor loot, and until people speak up and say otherwise you can't really fault them. I groan my head off when I get something like tam-tara and i assume everyone else does, so it is rare for people to sit there and take votes on what exactly you should do.

I've skipped areas as a tank simply because I assumed it's what the group wanted to do, and no one spoke up. When people spoke up I didn't skip areas, either way there was no drama and none of them posted an essay on the forums. All those words you posted doesn't apply.

Like for example, in terms of grinding exp its a great idea to vacuum up every piece of trash, but as a tank you worry that the rest of the group will berate you for wasting their time and doing pointless stuff. You assumed inconsiderate/thoughtless tanks, when the reason why they're skipping rooms is precisely because they are trying to be considerate. I personally tank in a way that I like tanks to play as a DD, and I adjust according to feedback. Berating tanks for playing in a certain way when they get no feedback is bad and you should feel bad.

Whether you do or dont want to skip, nobody should complain about how a random duty finder group runs. If you dont like how the party might turn out, or how the people in it might act, make a PF group of like-minded players instead.

I was doing Halatali last night on my marauder, I was gonna skip the optional mobs in the first area, someone said, "hey I need xp, can we clear everything?", other people said the same, and I said "sure, no problem". You gotta speak up, tanks get conflicting messages from every group, I just assume people want the dungeon done as fast as possible but I dont know if others want to clear if they dont say so.

Tank sets the pace by default, and most of them are probably only there for roulette and just want to get the run over with.

You wanna set the pace, you either need to chime in, or be the tank yourself.

It's the tank's decision which content of the dungeon is done.

But personally when I'm tanking and someone asks to clear out all enemies, I'll accept.

I mainly tank. I'm also trying to be an omnicrafter.

If I get the new to dungeon/first timer message I do a full mapping run, explaining the bosses as we come to them and grabbing all the chests.

I make sure to clear with the group if I'm going speedrun, skip any chests with only pinks (such as the goblin chests in longstop), avoid any mob groups, or go after vintage materials. If someone asks me to do a full clear I happily agree.

Being a Jerk is not my style.

I always make sure to ask the group I'm with when I'm tanking, if they want to skip side rooms or not. Like the topic says, it should be a group decision- even if the side rooms don't give great loot, your group could be missing out on experience points.

I agree with this, also with Praetorium and the other level 50 (searchlight darkens) people skip the cutscenes and run off, if you dont you will be behind at that point

In most situations people seem ok skipping side rooms. Most people that are level sync'd to the dungeons are probably just doing it for the daily xp. If you really want to go through the extra stuff it doesn't hurt to ask.