He's trying to push his preferences on a DF group, something many before have tried to do. If it was a premade, these things can be agreed upon prior. But it's DF, his rules don't apply.
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This is just the reality of queue and instanced based games. Ideally before you need for vanity you'd make sure no on really needs it.
Both people have an intrinsic right to the item because the game allows them to roll "Need" but obviously it's going to benefit the person who actually needs it more. If you accept that vanity is valid reason to need on things you have better equips we can say that anything is. What if the person will never use it for vanity but likes just having it in their inventory? What if they just want to stop the other player from getting it because they feel they don't deserve it? What if they roll a dice to decide if they roll on it or not? What if they have the same item and delete it simply to get it again? No matter how trivial the desire we can assign your argument and make hitting need never wrong. "Not everyone sees the game for progression, they might be playing for Completionism/Spite/Whimsy/Extreme Greed"
I'm a huge fan of vanity and I don't agree with the OP to implement some asinine system. However I don't agree with you either and I think if someone is rocking an ilvl 55 weapon you should defer to them. I could see a belt not being as big of a weapon for example and you can take it on a case by case basis, ask someone if they mind. However rolling against someone with a GC weapon for vanity is in bad taste, even if we can't call the cops about it. Just because you can click a button doesn't mean you should.
If this is true, everyone will go to those BOSS fight with the minimum gear requirements so they can "need" things, not good.
I have smn and blm, I want the body from CT from my smn, but my blm is much better geared so I do coil on blm for the extra dps. Should I be punished and not able to get the body for my smn, just because my blm has i90? Or should I be forced to do it on a job that im less effective on?
I agree with Daiiawn I do CT with my SCH with AF2 torso but i am looking the torso drop for my WHM.
If you really want to be able to set your need rules you run with a group of people you know and agree about looting rules. Otherwise the system with randoms is almost fine (be fast enough to pass at last loot in CT or you can get stuck with something you don't want :) )
What an odd idea - I can understand making rules like this within an FC, where it is to everyone's benefit to spread loot to players who need it. However, in a duty finder group every player is there as an individual, has played a part in obtaining loot, and should have a fair chance to get it. The Need/Greed split is there to ensure people who are playing a class get priority over those who might be looking to gear up a job they're not playing, and I think anything more than that would be absurd.
Vanity is a perfectly valid reason to want lesser equipment in a video game.
Anybody in party has right to lot the item. L2P
Let me translate the OP's point for you:
"I want all the loots for myself. If you have more gear than me, that means you are meant to carry me to victory and shorten my queue times."
You can also trade in items for GC seals so if I'm able to need on something I usually do. Sometimes people will mention they'd like it for an alt and I will let them have it but unless ya speak up no one knows.