The solution is easy, form your own group/join a FC. You should never expect a DF group to roll over everything. If you do, then you're the one in the wrong. Specially if you expect to be a "hardcore" gamer by using DF.
That being said, if you're nice to these new players, a lot of them understand feedbacks and tips. Of course there will always be exceptions (and I agree that the ilevel check is needed), but just find yourself a FC and you won't have any more issue.
As long as you're using DF, understand that others using it are helping you as much as you are by filling gaps. So just respect them and adapt yourself to them.
