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I usually commend my fellow DPS unless they're exceedingly bad or rude. I do notice commends dry up in trials and raids as rdm when things go sideways and emergency verrez is the only thing that pulled us through. And of course this is purely personal confirmation bias but sam and drg seem to never give me commends when I'm the other dps -shrug-
As a BLM my commendation goes to the dps if I have to throw a low number of flares or when bosses die extremely fast. Commendation goes to healer if he had to raise people, kept tank good through super pulls. Then I give the tank one if he so fast he just flies through the dungeon runs right into boss fights so I can get those double foul moments. And just overall didn't miss a beat.