IMHO hardcore was original EQ, where if you died, you had to run back to wherever you died completely naked without your gear to pick it back up.
That sort of mechanic would never fly with kids today, they couldnt stand it. When I played EQ at launch though, it was the norm, and it made you approach things very, very differently when you knew a bad pull could leave you naked and a hell of a long way from your gear.
Nowadays there's no sense of loss really. You keep your gear when you die. You dont lose XP (yes in some older MMO's you could lose levels if you died too much!), and you just pop back into the fight fresh as a daisy.
So when someone calls modern day MMO players "spoiled", its because most of them have never played any MMO with those types of rules, so they have no idea what hardcore really is.
Ask an EQ veteran about "breaking into Hate" for a raid some time. That was a raid... and a hell of a lot of work, and gave far more satisfaction than anything FFXIV could ever offer. You earned the drops there, it wasnt a Salvation Army handout like FFXIV has.
So no, FFXIV isnt hardcore, its not even in the same ballpark, city or galaxy. Its kiddie land compared to MMO's that came before it, but only because thats what the tastes of the modern gamer seem to want and they're the ones paying for the subs that keep the game afloat.
