Its a shame Paladins have to be tanks. I understand.

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Originally Posted by IdowhatIwant

Reporting is childish

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Is it though? There is no reason to let people act out in ways that are inherently disrespectful.

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Originally Posted by IdowhatIwant

Reporting is childish

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Either you keep the community at some level of public manners or you get a runaway effect of elitism and hostility.

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Originally Posted by Miiu

After playing this game for around a decade I either was extremely lucky or it's an attitude thing but I never had any real toxicity in dungeons then maybe a handful of instances. But that usually was someone being just an idiot and directing their anger towards everyone.
It took a while for me to pick up tanking. I don't think I started doing so before the end of heavensward but because I mainly healed I was familiar with pull patterns in most dungeons. Nonetheless did I stick to smaller pulls when doing a dungeon for the first time as tank and every time I'd say so in chat beforehand.
"Hey I am new to tanking. Is it okay if I take it slow this run?" And I never got any shit for. And that is still true today. A friend of mine recently started this game and I don't recall a single instance where telling the group that he is new and is still trying to get a hang of things has turned into critique. Either the rest of the group stays silent and just does their thing. Or you get people who are more familiar with tanking giving advice.

But obviously this is a big community so I am not dismissing that there is toxicity in the game. I am sure there are people who are being harassed for being new. But that is definitely not the norm.
So my advice would be to be open about your nervousness when tanking and that you need to got at a slower pace than people might be used to.

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That. Just be like you, not like people who immediately starts screaming and bellowing that they have a tank anxiety (or how that myth called?) but were silent at the beginning of the dungeon. Being polite and having a little conversation with the group. Key to success

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Originally Posted by ddwarbird

Its called, "consideration of others" but I suppose that isn't something most people today wouldn't know about. Its how you foster a sense of community and understanding which is a lost art it seems.

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LMFAO, the irony. Consideration of others goes both ways.

OP's behavior is the issue, done and done. Take a look at the condescension in their second post ("whining bunch of children") and the true nature of this person becomes apparent.

Personally, I learned not to belittle people (even in the face of something detrimental to my person or experience) when I was quite young. It seems the concept escapes even those who feel they've completed the "maturing" process.

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Originally Posted by Ashpd

That. Just be like you, not like people who immediately starts screaming and bellowing that they have a tank anxiety (or how that myth called?) but were silent at the beginning of the dungeon. Being polite and having a little conversation with the group. Key to success

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It's actually amazing to see how many people complains about other's habits - without being able to express their concerns BEFORE the run starts.

Like, there is a chat for this - use it, it's not only to say "Hi" and "gg".

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Originally Posted by Merrigan

It's actually amazing to see how many people complains about other's habits - without being able to express their concerns BEFORE the run starts.

Like, there is a chat for this - use it, it's not only to say "Hi" and "gg".

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Definitely. As someone who had trouble speaking up for himself as a kid I can relate to people not wanting to say anything. Or feel like maybe hiding the chat and just doing their thing without being exposed to critique and avoid all confrontation.
But that is definitely not the way to go. What I learned in public speaking lessons is that honesty or just the attempt to communicate goes a long way to make yourself more sympathetic.
Doing your own thing in a vacuum without any form of communication can make you seem as standoff-ish or just rude even if that is not your intention.

Even if it is uncomfortable talking to the rest of the group and making your situation known in this game is always the best approach to take. You might not always be successful with it. You might meet people who are jerks or someone who had the worst day and is on edge but nonetheless it'll do you good in the long run.

Plain and simple, it's a royal pain to just be DPSing down just 2 mobs. Most AoE skills are optimal with 3+ mobs. So playing subpar as a tank, makes the others also play subpar and you won't make many friends doing that.

I empathize with the OP, but would make one small suggestion. If possible, get a healer friend who plays moderately well (or even better, very well) and go to your highest level dungeon and just pull every single thing you possibly can. Trust in that healer to keep you alive as you cycle your CDs and memorize (if you haven't yet) the tankbusters for bosses. After a few runs, you should have no fear left at all and be safe in the knowledge that you can safely W2W pull with a good healer and decent dps. For most, I think it is just having not tried and being worried of failure that makes people anxious of big pulls. Just try it a few times and you'll see ^^

As a main tank 2.0 on I've never had issues. The 1st pull lets me know how the party will do for the rest of the run.
If I can go all out or not.

In all my years I've may have had 10 comment pull faster and less then 5 people leave the instance.
I've had just as many I'm new don't pull to big of a group.
The true is as tank you set the pace if dps or healers don't like your pace. They have a few options.
Leave,

Play tank next time.
Kick you and wait 5 to 15 man's for a tank to pop.(which is a lot slower then just finishing with you).
The time difference between got all out and going slow is maybe 2 to 4 mins in a 15 min run and a single wipe make slow faster.

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Originally Posted by technole

Plain and simple, it's a royal pain to just be DPSing down just 2 mobs. Most AoE skills are optimal with 3+ mobs. So playing subpar as a tank, makes the others also play subpar and you won't make many friends doing that.

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A dps can tank a single group, so if the tank isnt multi pulling, better take a third dps instead tbh.

Dont know how running through 2 packs of mobs, pressing 2 aoe buttons and pressing cooldowns one by one can make people feel so much anxiety... oh wait... maybe becasue of all the casuals saying that tanks should be the one to lead and stuff :^)