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You're way overthinking it. Commendations don't mean jack. Most of the time as a DPS you will get one comm in four-man content and that is because the other DPS simply give you their commendation blindly. Meanwhile the tank and healer blindly commend each other unless a problem arose during the duty. There's no criteria for 99% of people, that's just reality.
In 8-man content it might be slightly different (maybe someone is running ACT and gives it to the top DPS or whatever) but generally comms mean nothing.
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If the tank/healer doesn't have a sprout I'll give it to a sprout DPS since I'm the other tank/healer, then bail ASAP so the DPS will likely commend them.
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I favor the DPS in general. Not that I don't appreciate a good/standout healer or tank, but even while commendations are overall meaningless, the "You have received a player commendation!" can be uplifting.
I play BLM a lot these days, and while I received a ton in SB as a healer, it never felt as good to get them as it does now. Of course, you'll never know the reasons WHY they commended you in particular... But small pleasures, I suppose.
Otherwise, uh... I tend to favor people who simply talk more than duty-start greetings. Even if chatting in the middle of fighting is not really possible, it leaves far more of a mark if a conversation is had.
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I only have 3 categories for commendation
1) Were they nice/cooperative
2) Were they making reasonable plays
3) How fly was their glamour
The third category is the most important though
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Generally it is whomever happens to be left with me. 1 dps seems to always stick around with me and they get the comm. Everyone else breaks with a quickness for the exit. So the patient one gets it.
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From a healer main perspective, I give them coms when they do proper mechanics, use well-timed mitigation and do decent to outstanding dps. I tend to pay attention more to the classes that are more technically complex to perform as
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Uses LB, preferably more than once. Actually does damage.
Last one is really important, it's kind of rare.
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Avoids telegraphs, uses LB, not being toxic in the chat, does okay damage. If both DPS plays good then it depends on glamour.
Since I play as a healer with tank friend I actually give a commendation to dps quite often.
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Being friendly, hot character, great glamour (immersive glamour to be specific & not modern or meme glam) & using their toolkit
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I just comm whoever made me mildly surprised for being decent at the game, whenever I go WAR, I comm the healer if they don't heal me at all and how much holies they throw out because they don't have to heal a BiS WAR using Nascent/Thrill/Equilibrium