Disregard this.
Disregard this.
My advice: just leave it behind.
When you're ready to leave house and guild behind, you're already at that point. Just stop caring, and leave it behind - it's only bits and pixels anyway. Constantly reflecting about a decision you already made is not helpful, just a self-inflicted death of 1000 cuts.
It'll help if we look at the reasons why each are locked up.
Aether is the "raiding" data center. Raiding is a massively popular part of the game, with over 30% of max level players clearing them alone, and that doesn't even account for those who don't clear the tier but still prog.
Crystal is the "RP" data center. RP is a massively popular part of the game, with venues listed on every data center, RP being a popular thing in MMORPGs generally, all to the point of the developers acknowledging it is a massive part of the game and regularly releasing new furniture, emotes, deliberately targeted glams, gpose updates and other misc features like when they added bard music.
Primal is supposedly the "PvP" data center. But I... suspect PvP is not a massively popular part of the game. So that's pretty much why it's not enough to make Primal as locked down as the others. If anything I'd see Primal as a mixture of raiding and RP, and something of an overflow from the others.
If you only care about que time and not hard into raiding or RP, I can confidently say that you can still pick Aether or Crystal. If you don't care about RP you'll quickly learn what areas to avoid on Crystal and the only weird thing about Aether to me is that there seems to me more FC recruitment spam than other data centers. But I do have to admit, both Data Centers seem to have an noticeable increase in que times during off hours over the past couple of months. Hopefully it picks back up with all the changes coming in the next patch.
If Primal is not dead, then to be honest I don't really see a reason why you should wait for Aether or Crystal, unless there's a specific reason you want to actually be on either of those DCs
For Crystal at least, roulettes tend to pop fairly quickly. But lately, good luck if you’re trying to queue for something specific outside of peak hours. One of my Mog challenges (the one that isn’t the same for everyone) was a Hard mode dungeon that took 22 minutes to pop, and you can’t just unsync those if you want the Moogle tomes. Also notice some MSQ trials take quite a bit lately. Luckily I have 7.4 glam dresser prep to occupy me for the long dps queues!
Primal has had a noticeable population drop over the last year but it's no where near as dead/low pop as dynamis if you want to leave right away. Que times are still pretty fast for most things for non raiders when doing roulettes and dungeons.
I do my raiding on Crystal, and I've never seen RP here outside of venue spam in shout chat.
The people who keep repeating "Datacenter X is for Y" are part of the problem, just like people who keep saying, "DC travel to not-Dynamis to do Z" help ensure that Dynamis never actually grows.
I've been feeling this way too. Started back on FFXIV again this month and started on Dynamis.
It's been an actual nightmare trying to get queues to pop. Going through the MSQ and approaching the final three raids leading into Heavensward took over 1 hour for EACH raid.
I try to use party finder but as you've mentioned it's absolutely spammed out at certain times with venue advertisements.
The three cities are also just that in the chat, spam for venues. Or RMT bots.
It would be nice if SE would do something but what would they do that wouldn't upset a large portion of people. If you set each Datacenter as a "RP, PVP, Raid, Levelling", it'd put a bandage on the problem but wouldn't do much imo. Almost need a datacenter that is entirely for venues or something.
It sucks that there's a queue to login but yet the actual duty finder queues feel so barren.