Full-screen and borderless issues

Hey guys!

I have a question regarding playing FFXIV and I've tried a BUNCH of options already too.

Basically I have an endgame pc - 2070 super, i7 9700, 16GB of ram and a NVME 1TB m.2 SSD.

I run the game on 1440p and I cant make up my mind with 120FPS and 144 FPS, will come to that soon. My second screen is a 1080p 60/75hz screen.

Basically, I love to play ffxiv border-less, normally I had no issues with this, but somehow I now do. I got the LG 1440p screen with G sync, enabled that and V-sync in control panel in NVIDIA.

Other games play smooth, so that's all good and well.

The thing is with FFXIV, when I use border-less windowed, I can alt tab easily. With full-screen, I can with some apps, (chome opens fine for example.) but whatsapp/discord will cause my screen to go black for 3 seconds, and then 3 seconds again if I go back to FFXIV. (Quite annoying.)
I use the same resolution too.


But the thing is, FFXIV LOVES GPU power. I can see that it runs at constant 90-100%(which I heard was good, it takes all it can.) But the thing is, If I feel like watching twitch on the side or Netflix, it lags horrible if I'm not focused onto the window.

I tried disabling hardware acceleration but that causes tearing somehow on chrome. Even when scrolling pages.
I tried lowering the graphics, but my pc should be able to run high/max graphics settings. and I have a 144 FPS screen for a reason too. 60 FPS isn't the same anymore.

Also, I installed RTSS, limit frames which will reduce the load of my GPU.

Second thing is, when using full-screen. Everything is butter smooth. I have 120/144 FPS, smoothness all over the screen. Love it.
But with border-less/windowed, I get 120/144 FPS too. No problem. But moving my camera around does not feel like its as smooth as in full-screen.

I wish I could make windowed/border-less just as smooth and then I'd cap the frames and be happy.
I already enabled NVIDIA g sync for windowed and full-screen as well.

Other info:
Temps fine
Drivers up to date
Windows up to date
ran DDU - reinstalled drivers, no avail.

or am I being too perfectionistic?
I hope anyone may have tips or if I should just give in and live with full-screen and have blackouts every time I alt tab.

Thanks for reading my wall of text.

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