Oh geez, where to start.
POIDH.
I'm also shocked that you're so blase about RDM's access to a WS as powerful as Chant du Cygne. Nothing's "changed all that much"? It's quite the opposite. Chant du Cygne is on par with the most powerful Empyrean weaponskills like Victory Smite and Blade: Hi (among others). A MNK or a NIN without access to their Empyrean weaponskill via a WoE Empyrean or Full Empyrean is simply subpar, and it's no different for RDMs serious about their DDing.
Also, new r/ex gear such as Zelus Tiara (+8% Haste) or Calmecac Trousers (+3% Haste/+2% DA/+2% TA ... and it's not a drop from Proto-Ultima or a mission reward from ASA) are not big improvements for serious melee RDMs?
Sorry, but that's the way it's always been for the 'weaker' DDs. They simply have to work harder to compete, and it's not unreasonable for them to need a WoE or Full Empyrean to enter into the equation. DDs have never been on equal ground.
My RDM, from 49-90+, always received fast invites for Abyssea exp. Leaders like me because I don't suck. I can heal better than most WHMs simply because I pay attention, and DDs love me because I keep every single DD in the ally hasted (it's just that important). I can nuke and crowd-control better than most BLMs simply because I pay attention, infuse the right Atma for the job (if I'm taking on that role), and I use proper Enfeebling and Nuking gear (it helps that I played BLM for years before leveling RDM).
Don't want to be kicked from an Abyssea group? Suck Less, pay attention, and adjust your playstyle to address the needs of the party/alliance. I've never been bored enough to pull out a sword (even though it's fully capped and merited) because I can analyze a given situation and adjust my mage play to further complement and strengthen my party/alliance. Not everything demands the full healing or nuking power of WHM and BLM respectively, and RDM can adjust its approach to make kills faster and smoother. RDM is very powerful in the right hands.
Also, no one gets kicked from Abyssea exp groups these days, not that I've seen since no one seems to care, and I can't recall anyone being kicked from +1 seal NM groups. Even the people who really deserve it like full Aurore THFs, NINs, BLUs, DNCs, or BSTs (I kid you not, I've seen more than one full Aurore BST -.-).
Actually, I'm on record as saying the exact opposite.
But that's exactly what happens, although these days it's full Teal instead of full Errant. Or another smattering of decidedly non-melee gear.
On another note, you can't hide behind Guru status here. You can and will be called out when you're off-base, and if you're smart, you'll see it as an opportunity to reconsider your stances or learn something.
EDIT: Haha, I shouldn't have bothered to reply. Greatguardian nailed it again, and in far fewer words than I used. I tip my hat to you, good sir.