I think also finding a role within a party of actual people is what makes me feel the most important, not getting to top level or having the top gear. I'm not in it for the dings, I'm in it for the strategic wins.

This is perhaps because I've been playing a MOBA for several years. Partying is the only form of the game, and having a role within the party and doing your job effectively is what gets you the W.

I guess I'll have to keep on the lookout for another MMORPG that does partying like XI used to.