ok, I'll never understand the complaints about rdm not being able to tank. If you want to tank, level a tank job!
that being said, your rdm doesn't have to just sit back and heal. Do what I did leveling evey casting job I've used: 1. draw weapon, 2. whack mob, 3. cast for what you are in the party for while doing 2, 4. tell anyone who complains to STFU until you aren't getting your job done.
there, that was simple wasn't it?
honestly, it's your character, if someone has issues with the way you play it they better be able to back it up by showing how you are not getting your job done, regardless of the job. I've tanked before, and I don't voke every 30 seconds, I use it whenever the mob turns away (unless i need to recast shadows, the cast>>voke); strangely enough that actually works, but to some people I'm "not doing my job". If your job is to keep the party alive and the party is still alive, then you've done your job! You wanna rag on someone save it for the darks that don't stun dangerous moves, or a thief that makes mages pull because they don't want to level ranged attack-news flash, you get hate even if you miss, so you don't have to level ranged attack!