Truly horrible download times

[Kraggy]

I'm trying to patch two PCs each connected to a different ISP and both are showing 4% after an hour, this is absurd because we're in the small hours JP time and only early evening NA, I've never seen anything like this horrendously slow patching before and I always do it at this sort of time of day.

Tracerts on both show nothing abnormal, ie. times of 250-300 for the JP hops are standard, clearly the problem is actually on SE's patch server.