We wore people out.
Seriously though, it's mainly because people don't care anymore. RDM Melee has been talked about ever since the game came to NA, and really got an enlightenment at ToAU due to finding out that Enspells are pretty awesome. Colibri being weak to piercing helped too. Back when Allakazham's Job forums were strong (I see the majority of RDMs there either quit or moved to here), pretty much every thread posted there was about enhancing our melee capabilities. We were pretty much the drama-llama forum but it was pretty secluded compared to the rest of the community.
It's actually well-known that RDMs can melee, and has been like this at the beginning. However, it takes more effort and skill to do so due to a harder gear selection and reliance on enhancing skill. Compared to RDM Mage, which is just there for cures most of these days, RDM Melee takes a considerable amount of knowledge and heavy effort just to be comparable to DDs. And if you do it, kudos to you.
The problem is, however, that RDM Melee has, and always will be, inferior to a good DD. This wasn't the case during the ToAU era where a decked-out RDM could actually be even with most DD jobs except SAM, WAR, and MNK, but now it's just inferior, period. RDM is also inferior to WHM and SCH in terms of healing and enhancing, but as it stands now there's far too many DD jobs compared to Mage jobs for it to really matter from that standpoint, so RDM healing is currently the niche.
Allow me to make this point however: Just upping the overall damage of our DPS or even gaining super-duper-awesome weaponskills wouldn't be enough if you want to make RDM Melee a standard option. For it to become standard you need utility, and really RDM has all the utility in the world, but it's largely dependent on what you fight and how you fight it.
The reason why we have piss-poor WS is because we can magic burst skillchains. It doesn't truly matter but this is what we're suppose to use to make up for our poor WS. The reason why we don't have extreme melee-heavy gear is because we have our spells to make up for it (Dia, Gravity, Enspells and eventually the rest of the Gain spells). The only problem with this is SE failed to make this scale appropriately as the levels got higher. Pre-FOV/ToAU, the main problem was MP management and the overall community fighting IT++ mobs.
To be fair, if you're ambitious enough you can quite easily get a static or a linkshell that welcomes melee enthusiasts as long as you realize there's a time and place for everything (pretty much anything Boss-worthy), but RDM Melee becoming an open standard to the community is left at the hands of SE to open everyone's eyes, and with SE giving RDM Shield Mastery I wouldn't hold my breath on that.



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