Oy feels like i'm almost talking to P-chan now, Talent points are a natural part of leveling that existed in the game since day one, merits was an addition later on as a way to increase your potential (very slightly) further more where and how you allocate your talent points had a VERY large impact on how your character performs. by comparison with the older merit systems its ok if you werent a Flare II BLM (fire spec mage) rather you're making my head hurt each time you try and reference spec and FFXI in the same damn sentance, merits =/= talent points/talent tree's.It's almost EXACTLY the same. The only difference between talents and merits is talents are earned as you level up while merits are earned after you level up. You're "forced" to choose between a set of skills and effects which you are not allowed enough points to fully obtain.
As said before by others very few of the job specific merits are even potent enough to make a difference, or to state in another way some of the job specific merits are lacking in utility to such a degree that they aren't even worth meriting.
Also good for you for never joining a bandwagon job, or perhaps you could just ignore whats in and out and play what you like as i always have, and don't say that you do, you just specifically stated that you consciously avoid playing the in jobs.