More Populated/helpful server

[Rightchaus]

My post was addressing the cause of your problem rather than the symptoms, and is far more relevant than any insight about particular server quirks. This same issue has been brought up countless times on these forums, particularly in the "newbie" sections, and the answer I gave you has always been the generally accepted correct answer when it comes to enlisting aid from others.

ToAU44 was, ironically, something I didn't even fight. A friend of mine threw my afk-monk against Alexander while I was doing homework, cast a couple cures from his character, and won. It's pretty darn soloable by BLU though, just ask Draylo. I'm sure I've even seen videos of him doing it.

Things I've solo'd before, though? Damn near everything short of AV/PW/JoL and new overworld stuff like Voidwatch/WoE. I solo'd all my elemental Avatar fights back in CoP, solo'd over 45 Jailer of Faiths at 75 cap, solo'd Despot and the like for money in 2007, solo'd damn near everything that was possible to solo and died trying against anything that wasn't. And you know what? Despite that, I have a huge friend network and know someone in damn near every Endgame linkshell on my server. My friends list is hundreds of people long. I have countless favors I can call in, and plenty of gil to my name.

So why do I solo so much crap? Why do I go out and solo my AF3 when I level a new job, rather than call in favors or ask friends to take time out of their day to help with it? And why, then, am I also able to go afk and do homework while a friend fights my ToAU missions for me? Why, then, am I also able to watch TV while a friend kills my Empyrean Pre-Trial NMs for me?

Simple: Because I follow my own advice. When my friends help me, it's because they want to help me. It's not because I ask for help, or bug them, or make them feel bad for not helping. I help them because I want to, and in turn they help me because they want to. I don't expect it, and I'm grateful for it every time. If I helped someone all day and never got anything in return I'd be fine with that. It happens sometimes, surely. Hell, it happens often. But the important thing is that I don't mind. I don't pressure people. If I'm friends with someone, I'm friends with them regardless of what shit we kill or whose items we snag in an online vidya game.

Edit: And yes, I'm not even joking. A good friend of mine went out and killed near all of my Armageddon pre-trial NMs while I was afk, including Bugbear Strongman and all of the VNMs. I won't pretend that my situation is average or even close to it. I have some bloody amazing friends and I'm damn lucky for it. But you know what? I probably wouldn't have them if I was any different than how I am.

This is no longer 2007 or pre-aby era where you spend weeks in dunes with the same people or creating statics to level on the weekends with people building friendships. Not ever situation is the same, so you copying and pasting a reply you gave someone else doesn't work. You assume I have a bad attitude, when simply the case is that you're not answering any of the questions I posted. You're just telling me what you think I need to hear. If I wanted to play solo all the time I would play an RPG not a mmorpg. Anything I can solo I do, but when I am having a hard time I seek help. That's nice that people hand you stuff, because "you go hard" when you solo. The fact you're telling me I should solo something you have no experience with because your friends did it for you while you were afk doesn't make sense. Nothing has ever been handed to me and that's not what I want. I am not paying every month so someone else can play my game for me. You're a troll and I don't care how many of your friends comes to this thread and gives you thumbs ups. I just want feedback about other servers, not about how awesome you are or how you "Go mad hard" when you solo. Clearly I don't want your "help" and that's where you step away from the situation. All your friends are claiming you're giving great advice and if that's the case then it's my loss for not listening to it. So, on that note just stop derailing the thread.

[Sealdorie]

Ragnarok isn't a bad place to be. I've met generally nice people. I know at least one LS other than my own that is social, and is used for actually you know... socializing, helping etc.

We have a forum set up, where if used correctly help can be arranged if it is more than just a "pick up and go" type thing. When someone logs in and says "hey guys what about that ToAU Mission 44, here's a wiki link, what you need, and the times I'll be online~" If others are able to help you they typically will given schedules mesh.

GreatGuardian's advice isn't off the mark, but it seems you understand the concepts he mentioned well enough. I've seen all sorts of people like the type he mentioned in his post, and a lot like the way you describe yourself.

One of the things about the new way ffxi is played is that it is so solo friendly that there are many times when people are already off soloing their own things, and can't jump "right now" as many players want to log in and get help right then and there. I honestly feel guilty when a fellow LS-mate logs in and needs help when I'm already committed to something else, and everyone else is off doing their own things as well.

[Greatguardian]

Have you never had the misfortune of trying to find a good shell and drifting through shells that do exactly that? I've wandered through plenty of shells where the entirety of the socializing consisted of members greeting each other as they logged in or saying goodnight as they logged off and not saying anything else over the course of the night. Finding a good linkshell is not easy.

Come on GG, I know you're smarter than this. All your advice so far is good advice, but it all hinges on him already having a solid social network, which can easily have decayed into nothing if you've been away from the game for a while(which it sounds like is the situation the OP is in).

OP clearly needs the boot in the keister you're giving him, but said boot only addresses part of the problem.

To be perfectly honest, I can't really say that I have. More often than not, when I join random social shells, I find that people talk way too much for my comfort rather than the opposite. Hell, I'm constantly having to delete notifications from the FFXI: Cerberus facebook page because people treat it like a social shell and chat on it 24/7.

I know I'm lucky to many degrees, but sometimes it seems like we're talking about completely different games. Even in FFXIV (before it cost money), which is notoriously dead compared to XI, I found a social shell that was far more active than I was and had a good time despite having 0 pre-existing social connections on that game/server.

There are also forums, which you can use to socialize with people and get to know them despite never playing with them at all. In my opinion, these are probably the easiest venues for making friends in general, as you're not restricted by linkshell/server/playtime and you are generally posting on forums where people's interests are similar to yours.

If the OP wants me to stay "on topic", though, maybe Cerberus is just the best server in the world. OP is welcome to give it a try - just don't look me up.

[Luvbunny]

Why don't you move to Bahamut? It's a nice server with huge population. I met so many helpful nice players along the way and TONS of friendly LS. Not to mention random japanese players who are more than willing to help me finishing some of these hard missions. Actually most of my missions when I can't solo, I end up with random pick up group and get things done together this way. Not to mention countless campaign battle where I met many random players, doing magian trials weapon, teaming up with others in Zeruhm Mines doing GoV, and teaming up doing seals (and end up finishing it faster than if i was to solo).

But just as Greatguradian mentioned previously, you won't find many people who will just help for the sake of helping because they are bored to death with nothing else to do. Some will do this, randomly, mostly to other people in their LS. The trick is to find others who are doing similar thing that you want to do and that they will greatly benefit by teaming up rather than soloing. Usually there are so many of these players, and they will be more than happy to team up with you and get things done faster and safer.

[Lynxis]

I'd toss a vote in for Bismarck because it is still reasonably populated and people are willing to help each other but almost everyone has been playing since before the first server merge and as a result, reputation is everything there. New people have a very rough start there.

Case in point, my linkshell recently rejected some new members because only 2 established members of the shell could vouch for them. Hell, I was only let in because I was in the dyna shell first. I know most shells aren't as picky about letting new members in but I also know of plenty that are worse.

If you do get into a decent sized, well established shell, be prepared to spend a long time just helping people out and getting nothing in return. I spent about 6 months just joining events and helping people before I was able to seriously start work on my Empyrean weapon but when I finally got it, it was well worth it.

[Ciecle]

i'd say you're better off quitting now while you're behind. If you don't like how some people act, it's normally not their actions that need to be changed it's your own. and while we're at it, it really makes it hard to give you a solid answer on which server would be best for you and your situation when all you see is 'Stay on topic or Gtfo.' makes me kind of go 'we really don't need more of these kind of people on this server...' personally.

Instead of saying 'gtfo or stay on topic' you really should be taking to heart what people say if you really want a change.

Golden rule > all etc >.>

[Xx51LLYR4BB1TxX]

I currently play on Lakshmi server and to be honest it sucks. 80% of Jeuno shouts are people trolling. Hard to get help on missions because at this point people are too lazy to quest or don't want to help others out unless they're getting paid. Lately I have solo'd a lot of my content and I am starting to hit a wall. I think I was very fortunate with my lb10 quest, because I seen some people shout for weeks before they finally got help. I recently return to the game and there is a lot of content I have no experience with and I think I need to try another server. I have tried to find a LS, but all I end up with are Soical linkshells with no socializing. I am looking for a server where LS are relevant and people are still helping people just to help.

I know how you feel man ive been playing the game again for a week after a very long break and making friends now is kinda dull. All i can say is keep trying man or if you happen to swiitch servers and it happens to be on asura ill help you out from time to time when ever you on.