More Populated/helpful server

[Greatguardian]

Here's some advice for new friends guy!!

#1 Make lot of gil.
#2 Loan to random people.
#3 Say you loan Gil to people.
yup i'm such an awesome person for sharing my genius.

The sad part is it's hard to ignore such an obvious trollolololol because of the worry that some new, low-post returning player might read your posts and actually take you seriously.

[Zinato]

Well the guy did say hes a returning player. Did YOU read that? maybe his friends are gone, and this new endgame LS unfriendly time is what hes having trouble adjusting to? but no, it cant be that right? lets pick at the bros personality and tell him hes a noob for not leveling one specific job to solo one specific mission in one BCNM.....

You know that sounds a lot like me. Lost the shell and everyone in it from the 3rd day I played up until October 2010, leader never even said good-bye. Joined several abyssea ls's almost all that broke after leader got empyrean 85. Then I found an LS doing abyssea where I made the few friends I have now. However, that LS broke too and the leader went missing Dec of 2011. Yet, I have never once had trouble obtaining any goal I may have set. I don't beg for help, and in many cases don't ask either. I do currently have a social LS however, that is strictly for chatting purposes I don't go on runs with them nor do I ask for help from them. The only roadblock I've ever faced is relic 99 only because it's not pick-up friendly but even that I'm sure I'll eventually find a method for. My point in all of this? You don't have to have a large network like Greatguardian to get things done. This is on Asura too land of trolls and elitists so shouting isn't always an easy task. What I do believe you need is the attitude and will to find methods to accomplish goals and waiting until someone comes to you is the long way about it. In otherwords, I'm agreeing with Greatguardian.

[Rohelius]

2012 is pretty far into the era of self-reliance. Damn near everything can be solo'd or, at worst, dou'd.

Advice #1: If you can't solo something, improve yourself until you are able to.

So you assume the guy needs improvement and the yet unknown "Wall" is himself...

Advice #2: If you want to make friends, do it for the right reasons. If you just want people to help with stuff, it'll become fairly obvious and no one will. If people offer to help? Cool. If they don't? No problem. Don't nag, don't guilt, don't pester.

So now you attack his reasons and claim that he only wants a new LS and new friends to Nag, guilt and pester?

Advice #3: Self-reliant people are far better at making friends. Everyone knows "Hey bro, can you lend me a fiver" Johnny. Whether he forgot his wallet at home, or doesn't get paid till Wednesday, Hey Bro Johnny is always asking for small favors and loans. No one likes Hey Bro Johnny. This same principle applies to FFXI. No one likes "Hey Bro, can you help me with this level 50 CoP NM that I am somehow incapable of solo'ing at level 99" Johnny.

Now you compare him to a beggar "Hey Bro Johnny" and practically say he cant solo a lvl 50 bcnm at 99.

Advice #4: Linkshells. Don't expect them to do work for you. Don't expect them to owe you anything for being a member. Don't expect anyone to give a damn about you just because you have a pearl. Life does not work that way. If you join a linkshell, join it because you enjoy the member's company and they enjoy yours. Your missions are your business, not the group's.

now you tell him LS's are for friends only and not missions/quests/help. Not true and there are several tabs in the LS community to prove it.

Advice #5: Never ask for help on something that you haven't already tried solo. In fact, never ask for help on things if you can avoid it. Weird advice, right? People like people who are willing to take the initiative and go solo something even if it's too hard. When you've died 3 or 4 times, and keep doing it anyways, people are more likely to offer their help on their own and feel good about it rather than feeling obligated or forced.

Now you tell him to not ask for help in a MMO game... then to Kamikaze himself onto a monster 3-4 times until people feel sorry for him and help him...

General Message: So long as your attitude is one where you feel that you need people's help, you will not get it. We don't like that attitude. People never grow out of it, no matter how powerful their character is or how long they've played - They always need "Help". Help your damn self.

Now after all your "Tips" you expect him to say thank you right?....

I wish i felt sorry but i don't. And you thinking I'm trolling makes no difference to me.

The guy asked a question and everyone answered until you posted some self righteous BS with a "Help your damn Self" answer.

[Kokorololi]

+1 for Greatguardian.

That is all.

[Greatguardian]

I didn't need to make many "assumptions", all I had to do was read the OP.

Let's review:

I currently play on Lakshmi server and to be honest it sucks.

Ruh roh, Rooby. This is never a good sign. Contrary to popular belief, the particular differences between servers are actually fairly small in the general sense. If he thinks one server sucks, chances are it won't be much different anywhere else. But we'll give him the benefit of the doubt and see why Lakshmi apparently sucks.

80% of Jeuno shouts are people trolling. Hard to get help on missions because at this point people are too lazy to quest or don't want to help others out unless they're getting paid.

Bad sign #2: Blaming others. It's not his fault, you see. It's just that 80% of Jeuno is a bunch of trolls and everyone's too selfish and lazy to help with anything without being paid. Let's move on and see if it gets any better.

Lately I have solo'd a lot of my content and I am starting to hit a wall. I think I was very fortunate with my lb10 quest, because I seen some people shout for weeks before they finally got help. I recently return to the game and there is a lot of content I have no experience with and I think I need to try another server. I have tried to find a LS, but all I end up with are Soical linkshells with no socializing. I am looking for a server where LS are relevant and people are still helping people just to help.

No, not really. "Social Linkshells with no socializing"? Unless people just sorta sit in the linkshell and never talk to one another, I'm sure there's some sort of socializing going on. What can be inferred from this, however, is that there's no "helping" going on or communal activities. Of course, that begs the question, which activities would a social shell do? And why would they do them?

We'll get back to that, though. First I want to move on just a bit to the last line. "I am looking for a server where LS are relevant and people still help for the sake of helping". That's an interesting line, really. Look at it for a moment. Read into it a bit. What does it mean, to help for the sake of helping? At first glance, you'd think he's talking about what friends do for each other. But it doesn't seem like he's looking for friends. He's looking for a linkshell that helps members for the sake of helping.

Beyond that, what does it mean, specifically, to "Help for the sake of helping"? I can understand a giver using this phrase, but a receiver of aid? Used in that context, it implies that he wants to receive aid with no intention of giving back in return. In fact, he feels so strongly about not giving back, that he called everyone on his current server lazy and selfish for wanting some form of repayment for time spent. Now, note that this doesn't necessarily have to be in gil. You simply find gil is the easiest way to ensure equitable compensation among strangers.

Those are pretty damning word choices, and his attitude is conveyed as exceptionally poor in every single one of his posts. Instead of admitting any fault, he insists that others are to blame (Be it Lakshmi's population, or me in this thread). No. If you think an entire server is rotten, then it's probably just you.

The most reliable way to get help on the things you need help with is, has been, and always will be to simply help others and let karma and your reputation do the work for you.

[Rohelius]

Well my ps3 finished updating so my work is done here....

You just keep doing those deep psychological analysis of peoples short paragraphs and tell yourself your awesome!

[Arcon]

I didn't need to make many "assumptions", all I had to do was read the OP.

While I agree with pretty much everything you said in general and it's the same advise I'd give other people as well, you do seem to assume a few things about the OP, and maybe read a little too much into his words, particularly the last line. I don't think there's much more psychological context to writing "help for the sake of helping" then him wanting to find a catchy way of saying there's people who actually don't mind trying to support him when he needs it. He did say he was soloing a lot of content and is hitting a brick wall right now, so I don't think it's for a lack of trying. Sure, I guess he could level BLU, farm weeks to get the necessary spells, gear it up first with pickup Abyssea parties, possibly solo some Dynamis or NMs for some additional drops then try to solo it a few times before dying because he lacks years of experience then still not getting help because there's no active social LS he could find (which is all (I think) he was saying with the line about "not socializing", btw).

There's several degrees to that, some players lack the initiative, the competence or the patience for what you have described. And those people would simply not fit your pattern and they'd never get there on their own. That's what social LS are for and that's what I do, one way to fix those personal drawbacks is to approach people and show them how it's done. The difference in our approaches is that you want them to all find it out on their own, when my approach is to show them. I've met many people who were in a similar position, who were discouraged by not getting help for stuff you'd suggest them to do on their own or die trying. While that would work on certain kinds of people, those are not everyone. I just help them because I'm bored usually and I try to make the best of it, that's why often I tell them to stand back and watch. And it helps. That's how I showed several Aurore-noobs how to do Abyssea properly (same reason why I often joined those 12+ people shouts for Kutharei with me and a mule and duod it) and it works, those people are more likely to try something like this on their own. And if they ask me how I did it and why it looked so easy, even better, then I got a chance to explain what it was about.

The things you're saying are definitely not wrong, but they don't work on all kinds of people. I'm not even talking much about the OP right now, I'm just saying not everyone fits the description of the person you're suggesting them to be. I know not everyone is as bored as me to do this kinda stuff, but it works and it to do it once every few days doesn't take much out of anyone's time and it gives people a vision of what they should strive for. Sure, occasionally it leads to someone spamming you for help, but as long as you make no promises or don't pretend you're some kind of Vana'diel Jesus, it's not hard to tell them that you have no time to babysit them.

[Rezeak]

If you don't like someone opinion then ignore them /facepalm. Just calling someone a troll when it's apperant he isn't he's just giving general advice.

As for my opion on your sitituation it sound like you just came back and found stuff has changed alot and you don't like it.. imo i'd say give it time

As for not getting help with stuff either make better friends or just lvl bst farm 1 day in Dyna and just ToAU 44 (can i have it?) 200k Reward Each if won.

[Zinato]

You know people get paid lots of money to do what Greatguardian did with that paragraph. (though that doesn't mean I agree but that's a sidenote) And don't bother saying this is a game. A person wrote the words and regardless of what they speak about, the principles of analysis are the same.

Now, I sorta feel bad that the OPs question was taken so far off topic. (Admittedly my posts were not in response to his but rather to Greatguardians) To get back to the topic, like I said in my first post Asura isn't a grand place to go. Many of the shouts for missions/quests in jeuno is met with Troll comments and Elitists poking fun at the player. If you can tolerate that then I suppose Asura is the most populated, and that may help suit your needs. Unfortuneatly a lot of the big names for Voidwatch and Abyssea are often rather rude. Also keep in mind a large populace is a two sided coin, more players means more likely someone wants the same thing as you but, it also means more competition for certain things such as Dynamis and certain spawns.

[cidbahamut]

No, not really. "Social Linkshells with no socializing"? Unless people just sorta sit in the linkshell and never talk to one another, I'm sure there's some sort of socializing going on.

Have you never had the misfortune of trying to find a good shell and drifting through shells that do exactly that? I've wandered through plenty of shells where the entirety of the socializing consisted of members greeting each other as they logged in or saying goodnight as they logged off and not saying anything else over the course of the night. Finding a good linkshell is not easy.

Come on GG, I know you're smarter than this. All your advice so far is good advice, but it all hinges on him already having a solid social network, which can easily have decayed into nothing if you've been away from the game for a while(which it sounds like is the situation the OP is in).

OP clearly needs the boot in the keister you're giving him, but said boot only addresses part of the problem.