FFXI Limericks (Read for fun!)

[Savlyn]

All in the name of good (bored) fun! I do not mean to offend any job or any one with these poems. They are simply jokes and fun things that I came up with in my spare time today. I am going to attempt to make one for every job, so here are the ones I have so far. Feel free to make up and post your own! (We all know its more entertaining than VW or NeoNyzul)


There once was a Paladin from Bastok
Who thought he was big-man on the block.
He talked lots of trash,
Hit people with Shield Bash,
But then a worm killed him with Rock.

There once was a Thief who wanted infinite wealth,
He stole from people and exploited his wealth.
But he changed jobs to COR,
Gambled and went poor,
And ended up Quick Drawing himself.

Long, long ago, a Red Mage loved kiting,
Also found he excelled at healing and fighting.
But then the level cap raised,
And he scrambled for days,
Only to find the job now uninviting.

There once was a Black Mage named Kiro,
Who wanted to be a casting hero,
But his gear was dishevelled,
For he Abyssea levelled,
And ended up nuking for zero.

There once was a blinded Ranger,
Who put everyone around him in danger.
He used Wide Scan to track,
Barraged people in the back,
Until he got Blinda from a stranger.

With a GreatSword to zerg, but without Resolution,
This Dark Knight attempted to find a solution,
Soul Eater, Last Resort, and the likes,
For extra good measure he put up Dead Spikes,
But when fighting the mob, he just kept on "whoosin".

There once was a SAM from SE,
Who ran around WSing with glee.
But when he started to cry,
SE asked him why,
And he said “please overpower me.”

Scholars studied for years locked in towers,
So out in the world facing dangers, he cowers,
Compared to other mages, he'd sob,
But SE decided to improve his job,
And now Scholars are awesome every two hours.

There once was a PUP who got really offended
When fighting a mob over and over he got bended.
Cus he was taking damage to the face,
The puppet kept trying to erase,
and SE just said “Working as intended.”

There once was a healer who let everyone die,
Party members got mad and started to cry.
No armor did he don,
And he stayed /anon
For he was WAR/WHM, thats why.

There once was a Monk who used a staff,
Everyone around him began to laugh,
So he threw it away and put up a fight,
Knocked every one of their a$$es out right,
Now he partly uses fists, but a pole the other half.


And finally~

There once was a man from Square Enix,
Who rose FF up like a Phoenix.
But then he got the sack,
Tanaka came back,
And now the only fun is these Limerix.

[Alerith]

To the tune of Row Row Row Your Boat:

"Stab, stab, stab the mob, poke him in the eye!
Kick his ass and take his cash, make his mother cry."

This also happens to be my Madrigal macro.

[Saefinn]

Lol, love them, some are pretty accurate too. XD Love the SCH and PUP ones especially...no bias, honest!

[Seriha]

I tell a tale of Red Mages who wish to melee,
But no one would let them have their way.
Given a life of Refresh, Haste, and Cure,
Told it is all you're good and meant for.
Question that? Many insults your way for sure.

[Duzell]

There once was a man from Square Enix,
Who rose FF up like a Phoenix.
But then he got the sack,
Tanaka came back,
And now the only fun is these Limerix.

There once was a man from Square Enix,
Who rose this game up like a Phoenix.
But he got the sack,
Tanaka came back,
So instead of fun we have balance.

[Savlyn]

LOL

I really wanted to end that with "balance" actually, but for the sake of the rhyme... xD Although mine isn't any better

[Zinato]

There once was a place called WoE
Waiting to enter felt slow
Coins for upgrades were bait
And an hour you'll wait
For 5 minutes to fell your foe

There once was an event called Voidwatch
This event the Developers did botch
The event was a bore
Dropping nothing but logs and ore
Viewing spoils was like being kicked in the crotch

This is the story of Dynamis
In this place players did hiss
For a THF would train mobs
Despite the players sobs
And all the mobs could do was miss

A few I came up with waiting for Namtar. Anyway they are ment to be funny and not cause arguments or discussion. (I'm aweful at these kinds of things so I hope I did a decent job)

[Kristal]

Puppetmaster used to be lame
But then the pupdate came
Now the maton is pure win
Spamming Phalanx and Stoneskin
Lolpup is dead, PÜP is the name!

[Savlyn]

Haha awesome guys! Zinato, those are great! Don't worry ^^ I'll post some more later this afternoon.

[Meyi]

These are amazing. Keep them up! I bet if Spank came in here he'd have quite a few hilarious limericks to add.