Seriously, if I need to go back to charming EM+ to level solo losing that I think +21 to charm is going to result in more mischarms
Charm+ only effects duration, not success rate.

because if I'm out there 90+ I don't want to be in my relic (or even AF 1) with a light staff trying to charm!
You need to be making some gear swap macro`s dude, there is enough gear out there like you`re describing to sink a boat. If you`re not willing to do that it`s like complaining that a car doesn`t work, which you never put any gas into.