My only issue with you is your confusion about how to gear up your NIN. :|
You worry about how other people gear up their chars? Who gives a crap, gear your own to the MAX and mind your business? As long as they don't tell you you're gear choices are wrong and them wearing a pink fluffy party hat has no impact on you wtf does it actually have to do with you. Stop trying to live in the past, almost everyone else moved past that way of thinking.

Go to BG and enjoy the confused player thread, should keep you there all day if that's so important to you.