Provided that these statements are made in /linkshell and not /tells to you specifically, then I think the problem is on your end. Those feelings of guilt and obligation are all (or at least mostly) in your head.

And if these members do become "frustrated by the lack of assistance," then it may be their fault for expecting the wrong things out of the linkshell to begin with.

If you do feel you have to respond as part of "anyone," the auto-translate system has several polite responses. "No thanks." "I'm sorry, I'm busy right now." "I'm not up for it."

But really, the true solution is to run your own linkshell and keep your minions cowering in fear of you so that they gratefully sing your praises when you show them even the slightest generosity.