I hear you there. Took me 3 years to get to 75 (started on thf which also struggled for parties and after quitting for 2nd time and giving away my gear [lvl 52], smn was the cheapest job to level but I hadn't unlocked it). Just about 60 levels of main healing before getting 70BPs sucked, and because we sucked at it, we rarely got invites. I maybe got 5 levels 20-70 where I was invited to DD. 10-20 wasn't too bad in a distortion MB party. 2nd I levelled BLM because my LS wanted it, and SMN was useless in their eyes (post ToAU when BLMs only solo'd) so that was slow too, then I finished thf so I could be good vs birds at colibri camp. I was right, but noone cared. I could out-parse most jobs apart from DRG, or a RNG with money to burn, but unless I made the pt, noone invited me. Finally I decided to treat myself and level brd to feel wanted, and it worked for a few months until abyssea came out, then noone wanted brd anymore.
Now? I hear voidwatch favours SMN, but I haven't tried that. Otherwise it's only pulled out for solos that my THF can't do (Cuelebre etc.) or for pet burns.
PLEASE GIVE CAIT SITH SOMETHING TO MAKE SMNS WANTED!!!!!