Was my leader wrong to do this?

[geekgirl101]

She took it out on me because I backed up what my leader was doing and told her that I was horribly confused and didn't understand why she was upset with us. She must've thought I was being a right <insertprofanitynamehere> and broke our friendship based on that. Really hoping I can work this out with her once she's out of /away status.

[Greatguardian]

Really it sounds like the person who's upset at you is the one being completely unreasonable.

EXP alliances are fairly worthless, and teaming up for lights is absolutely standard fare and not a huge deal. When everyone gets the same lights whether there's 1 person solo or 18 people around, there's absolutely nothing lost by sharing lights.

The only person even remotely at fault here is the original Alliance lead for not informing their replacement of the arrangement. The only slight that was made towards the new lead was a lack of advance notice. Leaving once you have what lights you need is perfectly acceptable. It is not like there were people lining up to take that party slot that would have stayed longer. And if there were, then your leaving would not have caused a problem at all anyways as they would have had people ready to replace you.

In a nutshell? Chick's spiteful and has anger issues. Absolutely not even worth trying to mend that bridge. No one did anything wrong. EXP is super serious business. etc

[geekgirl101]

You're right Greatguardian. I tried to get back to her, sent her a couple of tells through the day but got no response, finally sent her a message explaining what really went on. She finally gets back to me very aggressively telling me she felt she got used and didn't believe us and didn't care that the friendship was now over. That really wasn't how I wanted it to end.

This teaches me an important lesson, always double check when switching alliance leaders that the new one is fully aware of any special arrangements.

[Darkren]

is it that hard to cap your own lights?

[geekgirl101]

is it that hard to cap your own lights?

Not really, but we were kinda doing a favour for them and vice versa by capping lights pretty quickly than doing it in a smaller team. We got our azures pretty quickly for TE's, they got their azures pretty quickly for TE's. Means more time for them capping gold for xp and more time for us spent hunting VNMs. Sort of a win/win situation for all of us, however it meant they would then be 6 people short. It was unfortunate there was miscommunication so that they'd be prepared for our departure with a backup plan to fill in where we left off. I think had my party leader spoken directly to the new alliance leader about the arrangement to make sure she was completely aware of what was arranged rather than some random guy saying "ok" when he double-checked what we were going to do then it could've avoided this whole drama.

I'm satisfied now in knowing that what we did wasn't wrong. I had my concerns at the beginning but now I'm more comfy about it. I've lost a friend for no good reason, and now we're on each others' blacklist as a result of her being too angry and unreasonable.

[Runespider]

Building your own lights isn't even hard, he is lazy ***.

Douche isn't a bad swear word is it? D:

Douche means shower in French you know! I was just calling him a lazy shower!.. >.>

[Bubeeky]

I've been in several similar situations to this and it usually works out pretty well, several seperate groups get together so that everyone gets the benefits of the lights and TE, but each party is doing its own thing...only difference is that everyone in the alliance knows what's going on, so that's the only thing that I would say was wrong in this situation, that it sounds like the agreement didn't include the rest of the alliance.

PS. to the OP, you sound like a really nice person, so I would say don't worry about that other girl, the one that broke the friendship off...I'm sure you'll make tons of friends in game that will be bigger and better than that Good Luck

[Nawesemo]

I have an Opinion!!!

But No One Will Like It.

Friends don't get pissed off over getting left behind if they weren't able to participate meaningfully, and should understand.

Friends don't /blist other friends... they spam each others mailboxes, chat with ransom demands for apologies or your not getting your Okote back, fill each others delivery box with single unstackable items, stacks of crystals and randomly invite to D2 one another for Demeaning behavior like what you described.

Friends are Friends for a reason.. everyone else, well, is just everyone else.
sooooo yeah take that for what you will.

[Alhanelem]

You don't need an alliance to farm lights... what this amounts to is the EXP group was being used and abused.

[Greatguardian]

You don't need an alliance to farm lights... what this amounts to is the EXP group was being used and abused.

Abused how? It's free lights in exchange for free kills for a while. Any group hunting VNMs is likely to be light years ahead of your average Aurorexp alliance, so it's not like they aren't contributing anything. And how are they hurting the EXP group exactly? Leaving after they've made the exchange? So what?

There are only two possible situations occurring after they leave:
1) The VNM group left, leaving a gap in the Alliance that the leader was unable to fill. In this case, how likely was it that the same gap would have been filled had the VNM group not been there in the first place? Considering the original setup was made with a leader who knew they would be leaving, it is not as if the only white mages left with the VNM group or something equally ridiculous. If they are 12/18 after the VNM group left and are unable to fill those slots, they would have been 12/18 sitting in Jeuno anyways.

2) The VNM group was using slots that could have been used for contributing EXP members. In which case, as soon as the VNM group left, those members could take the slots and everyone would be happy.

I really don't see an issue here. Could the VNM group have farmed lights on their own? Sure. Is it more convenient to team up with people for light generation in Abyssea? Always. It just is. Does that mean the group was "abused" in this case? No way. They lost absolutely nothing. There was no opportunity cost that they gave up and couldn't immediately recuperate if it did in fact exist. They did not receive fewer lights because they teamed up.

Was the benefit mutual? Yes. Was the exchange more beneficial to one party than another? Sure, you could make that case. But were there any negative effects on the EXP alliance? No way. Instead of grabbing 6 more people from Jeuno, the Alliance lead had to do so from Abyssea while actively gaining EXP. If anything, that's a boon. The EXP alliance lost absolutely nothing, either directly or indirectly, from the exchange. The leader was simply bitter and lazy.

Edit: Hell, most EXP alliances I've watched have been utterly incompetent and unable to even cap their own Azure lights. If the VNM group helped them cap Azure, they did them a monumental favor.