I agree with your stance completely. I love love love killing charmed friends when it won't seriously compromise our current objective, but I absolutely refuse to kill random charmed people who generally behave in a civil manner and go about their business. My friends and I will sometimes take Abyssea NMs, but only if the other group fully wiped and cannot continue the fight without the aid of unlimited Apoc reraises.
@Ilax: You're an ass. Other people followed your group because it sounds like your group wiped on a fairly regular basis. Your failures are not good excuses, in my opinion, to run about facilitating wipes by killing random charmed people. I don't see any issue with stumbling upon a wiped group and claiming/killing 'their' NM. I do have a real problem with people who facilitate such wipes by killing charmed folks whose sin was being charmed around MMO sociopaths.
You cannot bemoan the supposed decline in ethical behavior in Abyssea while actively and proudly behaving in an unethical manner. That's hypocrisy. It's one thing to kill RMT and those with whom you have a legitimate grudge, but it's an entirely different matter to go about disturbing people who are otherwise going about their business and generally not wiping to NMs (it is different if they wipe to almost everything they pop/claim).



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