Polite Way to Address Linkshell Members

Before I begin, I'd like to say that I try to help out fellow Linkshell members whenever I get the chance. In some cases, everything goes okay, but in other cases everyone dies. LOL

Anyhow, in all the Linkshells I was invited to join, there have been many cases where fellow Linkshell members would log in and begin asking the following requests immediately:

• Anyone wanna party?
• Anyone wanna skill-up?
• I'm bored.
• Can anyone help me with this mission/quest/Artifact equipment/etc.

Again, I don't mind helping others whenever I can, but at times their requests either come at a lousy time or seem at bit needy. For instance, other Linkshell members might either be busy with other tasks or it might be too late in the day for them to help. Now, Linkshell members that asks these requests seem nice and all, but these out-of-the-blue requests might cause some problems further down the line when these players become frustrated by the lack of assistance. Are there any suggestions on how to politely address such LS members in need at times when you and/or others are too busy?

If you have to worry about such niggling concerns, you might want to find a new group.

Or hang out with people who possess a layer of testicular fortitude and skin, thicker than a Russian Condom.

If people say they're bored I bet you could ask for their help with something and they would go do it.

As a leader of Marvels on Leviathan (Remora before that) for the past couple years, i find these suggestions to be most helpful.

Ask the person what they need and if you can help them at that moment then do so. If its something that requires more than an hour of more than 1 or more person's time then schedule a run on your forum (if you have one)

If this person needs something like a nysle isle floor climb or any mission that requires time to complete. Then start a static and keep to it till finished.

If people ask for help and you don't see them helping others then politely in /tell explain to them that in order to get what they need, they first need to help others get what they need done.

If your in any leader capacity, the best way to get your people helping each other is to lead by example and help those before yourself.

Any group that is going to last 6 months needs a strong foundation.
Lead by example.
Invite friendly and helpful people
Help out those that are below lvl 60 so you can have them help out in return when they become lvl 80+
Never be selfish and egos are not needed.

Hope this helps out anyone, whether your a LS leader, sack or pearl.

Maybe you should stop playing MMORPGs.

Make friends. While doing this, you will also learn which people you'd rather not be friends with.

Congratulations, now a linkshell in FFXI is the typical social group for any group-oriented hobby. Do what thou wilt.

Problem solved.

Wait, what is the point of this thread? Are you asking how you should address these issues, or are you reminding people to not pester their linkshells?

Most moochers will eventually give up mooching and drop linkshells/drop friends once they realize they can't constantly beg for help without giving anything in return. If it's your own personal linkshell you can kick them, and if it's a linkshell you join, perhaps ask the leader to sit them down and have a talk.

I personally prefer to solo everything I can (and to attempt everything I can't) so that I don't bother other people to waste their time for me.

Nothing worse than people who constantly ask for help, but never offer any in return. Or like the OP mentioned people who log in, and then 5 secs later be like "Amagad! like anyone wanna help me with this!?!?" Seriously take a pill relax, say hi maybe even some small talk. Butter me up some b4 you try to go all the way... geez!

Well I would look deeper and make sure everyone is getting/giving help equally. Sometimes there is more to this then meet the eye. For example, I have had experiences in a ls where from the moment I logged on the leader would start to send me tells asking me to help so and so with whatever. Also, they had a lot of unannounced events and you were expected to drop whatever you were doing to attend. However, when I asked for help with something there was always some reason why no one could help and I ended up resorting to shout on a regular basis. It was getting to the point that ls somehow tried to tie up all the online time of its members to help a select few with their weapons quest ect, but offered no help in return. It goes without saying I didn't stay in that ls much over a month. Looking back on it even that was to long.

So I would ask does the person get equal amount of help compared to what they offer others. When talking to friends the workhorse unworthy of help who must serve the ls is not that uncommon. So check out the dynamics that person experiences within the ls before jumping to conclusions. Sometimes the more popular folks don't catch on to whats really going on.

On the subject of Linkshell politeness, does it bother anyone else when you log into the game, and people in your LS start addressing you, before you've said anything? As if they are constantly /sea the LS and get the jump on you.

It's just a pet peeve of mine, but it drives me nuts and feels like an invasion of privacy. Feels sort of creepy even...

Maybe I'm just checking my plants, or only logging in for a few minutes. Maybe when I logged in, it's the day I need for a Magian trial and I'm in a hurry gearing up to head out, and will address the LS when I have time? Maybe I'm in a crappy mood and just don't want to be social?

You could respond to that situation with "I'm sorry, all our linkshell members are occupied at the time. Please stay on the line and a representative will be with you shortly." Elevator music to play afterwards is optional.

First off, the person asking for help shouldn't start with "help me please." They should start out with "hello" or the like, and make polite conversation. They shouldn't ask for help every time they get on.

As a reply, there's nothing wrong with saying:
"Sorry, I'm in the middle of X."
"I would, but I'm logging soon actually."

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Originally Posted by Meyi

Wait, what is the point of this thread? Are you asking how you should address these issues, or are you reminding people to not pester their linkshells?

Most moochers will eventually give up mooching and drop linkshells/drop friends once they realize they can't constantly beg for help without giving anything in return. If it's your own personal linkshell you can kick them, and if it's a linkshell you join, perhaps ask the leader to sit them down and have a talk.

I personally prefer to solo everything I can (and to attempt everything I can't) so that I don't bother other people to waste their time for me.

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I was asking for suggestions on addressing Linkshell members who ask for assistance/party/etc. each time they log-on in a polite way.

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Originally Posted by Skyver

Maybe you should stop playing MMORPGs.

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I was just looking for suggestions on addressing such Linkshell members politely, so I figured this forum would be a good place to look. I apologize if this thread bothers anyone.

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Originally Posted by LordChocoSlime

I was asking for suggestions on addressing Linkshell members who ask for assistance/party/etc. each time they log-on in a polite way.

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Ah! Okay. Yeah, I would definitely tell them, if you are busy, "I'm sorry, I'm busy with <event> right now."

If it's a continuous problem, perhaps send them a /tell saying, "I'd like to help you, but as it stands, you've asked a lot from the linkshell without giving something in return. How about you help <a member name here who needs something as well> and then afterwards we can go get what you need."

Questions like "anyone wanna party", or "anyone wanna skillup" are in my opinion entirely all right. It is a simple question and if you want to join it would benefit you as much as them, usually. I don't see how it would come off as needy to suggest to cooperate in doing something that benefits everyone involved.

Statements like "I'm bored" I agree often means the person would be likely to help someone out if they had something in particular they'd like help with.

If I feel a need to answer, rather than just say nothing and continue whatever it is I'm doing, I just say {I'm busy} or something.

I usually start with "Hey bitches, what's up?".

Much friendlier.

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Originally Posted by Miitan

I usually start with "Hey bitches, what's up?".

Much friendlier.

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Don't forget the occasional curse word.

If anyone asks you for help and you can't at the moment I'd say to just explain to them why you can't and when you'd be able to assist them if you intend to. That's what I do. :) As for questions like "Anyone up for party?" or simillar I acctually enjoy them in a /l chat.

lol I'm usaly the one in my LS that staits "I'm board" or "Anything going on?" and every one in the LS knows that it means I'm up to helping them with stuff they are doing ether just getting started on or have been working for some time before I had logged in. I'm the LAST to ask if any one wants to party or skill up as I mainly solo exp and merits as well as skill ups or get the skill ups as I'm helping out LS mates. If I'm busy with stuff and another member comes on and asks for help we usaly let them know we are busy and that once we are done and they are still on we well help them then.

Provided that these statements are made in /linkshell and not /tells to you specifically, then I think the problem is on your end. Those feelings of guilt and obligation are all (or at least mostly) in your head.

And if these members do become "frustrated by the lack of assistance," then it may be their fault for expecting the wrong things out of the linkshell to begin with.

If you do feel you have to respond as part of "anyone," the auto-translate system has several polite responses. "No thanks." "I'm sorry, I'm busy right now." "I'm not up for it."

But really, the true solution is to run your own linkshell and keep your minions cowering in fear of you so that they gratefully sing your praises when you show them even the slightest generosity.

Tell them you can't see what they're saying because you're blind and only get around the game using braille and a guy on ventrillo to walk you through the map.

I used to be in a Linkshell like this so I left. Some people don't understand that this is an MMO and these are real people who don't exist solely to help them. These beggars are usually the types who quit early on, because no one got to know them and they have no friends to play with.

I also get LS hoppers who have 15 different Linkshells and just put them on, ask for help, then on to the next. That annoys me royally.

This thread screams of hurt labia

What's next, a thread about how to engage the mob without offending anyone?

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Originally Posted by Cursed

What's next, a thread about how to engage the mob without offending anyone?

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Discuss!

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When fighting a mob for Experience Points, be courteous. Don't steal another players prey, THIS IS A BIG NO NO. Stealing a player's prey ruins their gaming experience. (And it makes them cry inside, this is bad.. bad indeed.)

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lol'ed