The noob moments that you have witnessed that made you /facepalm...

read through

http://lvlup.gd-tangent.com/view.aspx

and read all of it! its full of awesome nooby moments and is an awesome manga style ffxi web comic

my ls has a lot of noobs in it that wanted to party one day. instead of making multiple parties, we decided to make a roaming level 10 alliance in the dunes... while it was a lot of fun, holy crap did it not work :-P

I had a Black Mage that tried to attack things with their wand and cast elemental debuffs that overwrote each on in Crawlers Nest once. It made me very angry.

getting an invite to a garlaige party and arriving to find that two of our members had no subs and were wearing lvl 1 taru racial gear

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Originally Posted by viion

When your ls is talking about another ls and some idiot misses his /l and its legit

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Or even better when you are crabbing to your LS about someone in the party and mt into the party chat. fun times.

Ugh someone today came to a Garlaige Citadel party (in the late 40s) said they didn't have a map. It's 3,000g for one in Lower Jeuno. Really?

When scars of abyssea first came out and people didn't know much of how the zones worked..

I use to exp a lot in abyssea misereaux coast..

and it always happened.. somebody would aggro athamas otw to the exp camp.. and massive alliance draw in would ensue xD

Farming Despot years ago... Finally he popped and people tried to kill him melee style... Obviously many people died before myself (BLM) and the DRK managed to get hate and pull it to the corner of the map and kite it.
Once the other party members recovered from weakness, they came to join us. PLD was first to get there and instantly used flash on Despot while stood next to 3 sprinklers (Pots). They naturally agrod him and killed him. Since he was the last person to touch Despot, Despot went yellow and another group that was there claimed it.

/facepalm

Last Night:

"Pay Me and I won't steal your beetles"

then

"I need somebody to open the Banishing Gate"

Why should we? If you asked nicely on the other hand...

I had partied with the guy the day before and he was a major troll then and it seems, a failure of one, "gahahaha I'm going to be a troll...but I need your help".


Also, I find elitists in the game are the biggest noobs around, it's so ridiculous, yet funny watching them talk. Most of them would rather sit around berating people they call noobs instead of actually helping them learn - I spoke to an elitist about it and he claimed that noobs never learn. Which isn't true, I find myself teaching people, not all of them listen straight away, but they can learn, you're just got to approach them in the right way, instructing people how the HAVE to play their job doesn't work, but teach them what they CAN do and how it helps the party, people can get defensive when you start bossing them around or even start insulting their intelligence - a lot of the time I find myself teaching people about crowd control as my 2 top jobs are SCH and COR, which are useful for both, very few people think to actually cast sleep when somebody aggros or links - it seems people's instinct is to zone or to spread the damage, but I try and avoid that, a lot of the time you can deal with it without zoning. When people try to take on the pulled mob and the aggro'd mob at the same time, it's a real pain when it comes to casting sleep, I just tell them to attack ONLY 1 mob, they do it and I can sleep them and they learn that if somebody in the group can sleep, then you're not going to face and fatalities so long as you're sensible about it. I find it's a lot better than going, "lolnoob" and kicking them for doing something you might deem 'noobish'.

With this, I add Port Jeuno shouts to noobishness, sometimes you just hear elitists say the stupidest things.

Bit of a long story but this is one of the worst noobs I had to deal with. I was once tanking yacumama on dnc for my rng friend's emp gun trials, when we had another, full pink, dnc come along and want to join us to work on his dagger. He was using the OA2-4 times dagger, with rather horrid gear only managing to spam feed yacu tp and making it so much harder on myself while myself and rng had been managing fine earlier. Told the other dnc if he was going to fight it and make it tp more/hundredfists sooner, then to use his tp to help cure me (since he was sitting on 300 the whole time) did not once cure me.

When I got into a bit of trouble and didnt have enough tp to cure myself as I'd been wsing, expecting the other dnc to cure me, rng started throwing everything he had to get hate off me and give me an extra few seconds to recover. Unfortunately I died before he could get hate, but of course, it immediately went for him over the other dnc. What did mr dnc do? HE...immediately turned and ran away when I died, leaving rng to die. Of course it then killed mr dnc a few seconds later. When asked why he didnt cure me...'because whenever I cure someone I always get hate and die'.

We later told him to just not touch it and use no foot rise- reverse flourish for tp to cure me after assuring him he couldnt get hate off me like that. Instead of curing me (still) he just used haste samba on himself (while not ever fighting anything). When we asked him why he was using haste samba since it only gives me the -delay if he hits the mob, his response was 'to haste himself'.

Horrible noob, but to be fair, he was polite, and grateful, and I can only hope that he had thf lvled as the reason why he had a magian dagger and that his lack of knowledge was based on not having played the job for long (the only time I hoped that someone had aby leeched something I was in a pt with...)

Personal experience.

I went into Castle Oztroja for the first time, so I didn't have a map yet (haven't gotten it yet I mean). I was there because I was helping others with rank 4 quest (them not knowing I was also on the mission).

Got my cutscene, I warped everyone else out. I thought "this is a good time to go exploring" so I did. I was a level 50 BLM at the time.

I get to the four switch door not knowing that the code is somewhere else, so I decided to try opening it myself. The mobs behind me checked EP, so I knew I could just sleep them and all that. Not knowing (or realizing) that I didn't have any MP, because being the noob I am, I forgot to rest after sending all those people home.

So, I'm hitting my sleep macro when I realize I have no mp, so I tried to run for it. Not only did I get lost trying to get out of there, but I managed to link the entire zone, including the 2 NMs on both north and south sides of the first floor (campers there were afk, go figure) and died RIGHT in front of the zone out. Almost made it.

That was my greatest noob moment in FFXI history.

Long time ago, I was pulling a bunch of mobs for a pt I was PLing for a friend.

The new BLM saw all the mobs I had and decided to test his new AoE spell: Stonega!

He died a horrible, bloody death in a matter of.... eh a quarter of a second and all the delicious exp I had trained had gone to waste, but I could not stop laughing.

back in the days when things were simpler, I was invited to a party in the jungle. I was a level 29 War and gone through a whole hour of exping, it was great exp then. That was the time I though we were ready to fight something different and pulled a white lizard. The End.

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Originally Posted by Kingofgeeks

read through

http://lvlup.gd-tangent.com/view.aspx

and read all of it! its full of awesome nooby moments and is an awesome manga style ffxi web comic

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Great sig, very nice. Oh and I got deterred by the animation videos on the site. Sorry about that, "...Misi's mom, got it going on~...!"

Yesterday, Bennu.

While tanking: "Protect/Shell Can I have it?"
30 seconds later...
"Protect/Shell Can I have it?"
Some time later...
*Tank dies from lack of cures and lack of Protect/Shell"

*Tank is Raised*
*Tank uses Mijin*
*Tank is Raised*
*Tank receives Protect*
*Tank receives nothing else*

A few minutes later...
*Some one aggros Ouzelum while they're still fighting Bennu*
*Back up tank goes to Mijin Ouz to get him off party*
*Everyone who was told not to touch Bennu except for procs decide to fight Ouzelum*

/wipe + /Bennu despawns + /facepalm

A party in Yhoator Jungle with a BST/WHM with abysmal gear and using a sword. One guy in the party says he should at least go and get an axe. So the beastmaster death warps to San d'Oria, runs out to Ronfaure, and kills Orcish Fodders until he gets an orcish axe.

Recently I was in a party with a PLD that AVERAGED barely over 200 damage Chants with level 90 Almace.

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Originally Posted by Drhatchet

Recently I was in a party with a PLD that AVERAGED barely over 200 damage Chants with level 90 Almace.

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Just goes to show that any idiot can get the best gear if they have good freinds ><

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Originally Posted by Saefinn

Also, I find elitists in the game are the biggest noobs around, it's so ridiculous, yet funny watching them talk. Most of them would rather sit around berating people they call noobs instead of actually helping them learn - I spoke to an elitist about it and he claimed that noobs never learn. Which isn't true, I find myself teaching people, not all of them listen straight away, but they can learn, you're just got to approach them in the right way, instructing people how the HAVE to play their job doesn't work, but teach them what they CAN do and how it helps the party, people can get defensive when you start bossing them around or even start insulting their intelligence

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Some of the better players (you don't have to be elite to be good) gave up on teaching others because others typically don't want to be taught. I can't count the number of people I've met that don't gear swap for anything, then write the job off as crap later. I've seriously had at least 4 variations of "then I have less inventory space" when I tell them about gear swaps, and some even called me a cheater stating "Its a glitch/hack/mod that lets you do that!" Some noobs learn (I happen to have a few I've helped over the years on my FL), but most seem to be noobs by choice.

Where: Aby
Who: A lvl 90 something
What: Was asked to invite someone to the alliance and was given the lead, they were silent for a few moments and replied they didn't know how to invite someone to a pt, and when they tried they ended up somehow disbanding. What rock had this dude been living under?

A level 90 white mage asked me how to cure the other day. ^^;

Got a few more I thought of.

Once way back when I was lvling whm sub in an ls pt in dunes. Had a friend come in on rdm (not his main). We were fighting crabs in the trees where all the leeches are and I noticed the rdm diaga one time. I assumed he just did it by accident and let it go. Then he did it again. I pointed out to him please dont do that, if you hit a leech they're all going to link on us. He did it another 2 times and twice we of course, got links. By the 3rd time he did it, whoever the tank was had grabbed his links to try to save him and rdm immediately ran to selbina to save himself. Much yelling ensued.

Another was a noob moment from myself. My first job was smn and because of my time zone, all my friends had gone to bed by the time I'd get home from work on weekdays so I'd always just exp alone. After getting to 75 I still had no diabolos and my new bf (who also played) organised a group to get him for me. My sole responsibility was to curaga to wake everyone when slept. So we all buffed up at start, I drank my poison pot, everyone got slept including myself, went to curaga and....nothing happened. And I couldnt move. After spamming that macro a few more times I realised I was slept still and my poison wasnt waking me. I forget what happened then exactly but we still won, after getting yelled at by a few people one of the guys realised that since I had soloed smn I'd probably never had to deal with this rule, nobody had ever told me that I had to cancel stoneskin for poison to affect me ; ;

Earlier than that I was soloing crabs on my smn in kuftal using shiva to sleep then rest when I needed mp. Had a guy in my ls beg to come along as 40 something whm for skillups and was very insistent about it. Told him how I was fighting with the sleep - rest he said ok. So then I went along, got it near dead with barely any mp left. Sleepga, release, go to rest and...it immediately wakes and starts to kill me. I realise whm had put dia on it. He claimed he did nothing when it was slept to wake it. After he had to raise me and I started fighting again. Same thing happened, although this time I saw it and tried to outlast it before releasing, but just ran out of mp and died again. He then decided to tell me I was no good at this soloing and left, then started laughing in ls about how I was trying to sleep dia'd mobs and people called ME the noob >_>....

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Originally Posted by Drhatchet

Some of the better players (you don't have to be elite to be good) gave up on teaching others because others typically don't want to be taught. I can't count the number of people I've met that don't gear swap for anything, then write the job off as crap later. I've seriously had at least 4 variations of "then I have less inventory space" when I tell them about gear swaps, and some even called me a cheater stating "Its a glitch/hack/mod that lets you do that!" Some noobs learn (I happen to have a few I've helped over the years on my FL), but most seem to be noobs by choice.

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This is 100% fact.

Also (@Saefinn), most high level players are pretty chill. The people who tend to run their mouths off all the time in Port Jeuno about how awesome they are are typically mid-level morons who think they're hot stuff. Most of the best players in this game tend to keep to themselves or their friendgroup. It is universally frustrating to deal with mule-headed or willfully ignorant players.

What GG said. Noobs will be noobs no matter how hard you try. I know many mages that don't get why you try and stay at max casting range or say they don't use windower so no way to tell. When the game it self tells you.

My nooby moment happened when getting THF AF Dagger. I'm on my lvl 42 ish THF near Beaudeaux before the MPK patch. So I go in pick one close to the zone and try to steal the soup then zone. Well this other guy was there fighting stuff and I guess he got in trouble. So I see him zone out and he doesn't say anything to me. So I zone in to try and steal again and I swear every Quad in the zone is at the Zone point, so of course I'm insta killed, and the guy doesn't even attempt to give a sorry or try to get me a raise. Would have been cool with it if I'd just gotten a [Danger] say or /tell, then it'd have been my fault for going back in there.

Okay I got a great one. This happened about a week ago. I teamed up with some friends and we were heading out to get my last white mage feet seals when this dnc/war comes from the flux and forgets to put up spectral jig. We watched as he aggro'd 8 bombs and offered to pull them off him and only once his hp hit 10% did he shout help me but never accepted the party invite. We kept healing him but after the 8 were killed he still wouldn't use the jig. We asked him why he didn't use it. His answer and I quote "What the hell is that?"

LVL 90 BST was asking for help on shadow lord

So when I first started like 6-7 years ago, I had no idea how to open doors for my first few days. I have no idea *why* I was so baffled by them, maybe i didn't understand targetting or something. Also I distinctly remember being in the goldsmithing guild in bastok trying to craft for some reason and this guy asked me, "Hey do you have a LS?" and for some reason I thought he was offering me a Light Crystal to craft with, and because Light crystals were 'Ooooh special can't find them around bastok' I eagerly said yes. You can imagine my surprise but it was because of that linkshell's mercy that I was able to learn a lot haha.

I gotta say this thread is both hillarious and terrifying. My boyfriend just recently started playing and I usually keep a close eye on him and level/do quests with him but I fear for the day when he decides to do something on his own and he'll get a group with some jackwagon screeching "OMG ur level XX how do you not know to do this thing that hasn't come up your brief stint of playing yet but I expect everybody to automatically know it because being over level 50 means you know everything about this game!!!11 /kick" Not that he makes mistakes a lot and I've been pretty good about teaching him, just you never know whats gunna happen.

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Originally Posted by Ezikiel

LVL 90 BST was asking for help on shadow lord

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BST can deal magical damage?

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Originally Posted by Zyeriis

BST can deal magical damage?

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Your pets can. Cant remember fungaur name.

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Originally Posted by Greatguardian

This is 100% fact.

Also (@Saefinn), most high level players are pretty chill. The people who tend to run their mouths off all the time in Port Jeuno about how awesome they are are typically mid-level morons who think they're hot stuff. Most of the best players in this game tend to keep to themselves or their friendgroup. It is universally frustrating to deal with mule-headed or willfully ignorant players.

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Yeah, I know plenty of high levels that are pretty chill and have good fun with them - I love the level headed folk on my server. I know the idiots are in the minorities but I've never bothered to check their level range, so perhaps you are right they're the mid level range and even what somebody described to me yesterday as 'high level noobs', as much as I hate the word 'noob', it was a fair description for the group of people who burn their jobs with little to no idea what they're doing with them, whilst I don't think burning a job necessarily makes people bad players, but I can see that people may assume that because levelling is easy, the rest of the game is easy and at times get cocky about it (in the minority though), but of course, it's only easy when you know what you're doing.

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Originally Posted by Drhatchet
Some of the better players (you don't have to be elite to be good) gave up on teaching others because others typically don't want to be taught. I can't count the number of people I've met that don't gear swap for anything, then write the job off as crap later. I've seriously had at least 4 variations of "then I have less inventory space" when I tell them about gear swaps, and some even called me a cheater stating "Its a glitch/hack/mod that lets you do that!" Some noobs learn (I happen to have a few I've helped over the years on my FL), but most seem to be noobs by choice.

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I suppose to an extent, fair enough, if you can't get somebody to learn (and perhaps I should avoid too many generalisations), then it's not worth the effort and perhaps going as far as kicking them will be enough of a slap on the face to say, "perhaps you should listen", depending on the size of their ego of course, I encounter people in RL with egos so huge that anything you say will reinforce how awesome they think they are so it's not unlikely some of these people playing MMORPGs too. But I find sometimes that when somebody does something wrong or they don't know something they perhaps should then there people in the 'elitist' group (I use 'elitist' not because they're superior players, most of the time they're not, but because it appears they have an elitist attitude - it's the best word I can use to describe them, unless somebody has a better word) call these people noobs, berate them and maybe even kick them without giving them anything all that constructive. Perhaps a minority again, but I find these people ridiculous and funny in my own sadistic sort of way, my only other option is to ignore them, which some argue is best, but I enjoy laughter enough to find them funny without even the need to feed them - though I was tempted by the fail troll who wanted us to open a banishing gate for him.

Anyway I'll be patient enough to reason with somebody so I can offer them advice, not to instruct them how to play their job, but help them understand what's useful about it and why people invite them to parties and if they're invited for the reason, ask that they do it. I can understand some people can be frustrating and not all listen straight away (I have seen some folk go on the defensive and usually find I can deflect that), but I'd be lying if I didn't say I've found people frustrating in the game, particularly when they don't read the chat box (and attack the mob you told them not to), but when I get around to talking to them, a lot of the time, people will listen and learn from their mistakes - sure it took a death for a person to learn that if I'm helping them, I am a better sleep nuker than a heal nuker (as per the instruction: "please don't attack, I can sleep them"), but they learn. Perhaps my experience differs from other peoples, who knows?

As for people who say a job sucks because of gear swaps, I've not encountered it, but I can see how lack of gear swap can make some jobs look crap, I think if anybody played my COR they'd probably hate the job because it's unloved at the moment and is not worthy for anything 75+.

[edit]
Sorry for the essay of a post, I guess I got carried away.

@Where:Xarcabard

@When:Almost every time

@What I wanted to do:Run from Vahzl gate crystal to o.p,to warp to Windy

@lvl WHM90 or BLM90,been 9 years in FFXI

--------I ran to o.p watching my map's marker,but my direction bends 30 degree to 180 degree.

But I don't /facepalm,cuz I can see nothing and I will never arrive o.p.

When I was doing the Quadav NM for WAR AF feet in P. Mines, I died and a lv 67 DRG came in all like "Ahahaha! He died, I'm taking his NM and getting his drop!" and Jumped it... and died really fast. Made me lol.

level 13 party in valkurm dunes, pld tank (he used GS) and i was the main healer (whm with club + shield, you never know if the tank sucks ^^)
i had to cure bomb the pld that hate always switched to me, so i was main healer + main tank, funny times.

my biggest noob moment however was this:

1 1/2 year i level rdm to 60 wondering why i got no party invites (did other stuff too)
then someone told me there is a lfp button xD

Edit: most annoying moment was this:

someone asked if he and his friends could join dynamis - jeuno, i was fine with it
and 11 ppl are a nice boost in kill speed
however after a while they messed up everything (aggro, attacking wrong mobs) and their dmg was meh.
then they guy who asked me to join, told me that he is 11-boxing! ><

Lvl 90 thf, with +2 gear, twilight knife, etc asking "What does treasure hunter mean?" and was dead serious. Made me laugh and cry at the same time.

a paladin in the subterran who keot telling me how to play monk, but didn't play paladin at all. Never tanked well then died after a bit. I told hiom I would do better if you actually tanked. He said "i'm watching TV" He died then rage quit soon after.

had another tank who was stoned off his rocker and forgot HE was the tank.

having to pull as any job in any party at any level because the ranger would refuse saying " why do I need to pull" or a theif who :forgot their ranged weapon" Or go "pulling is boring". This includes whm blm rdm.

Some of the better players (you don't have to be elite to be good) gave up on teaching others because others typically don't want to be taught. I can't count the number of people I've met that don't gear swap for anything, then write the job off as crap later. I've seriously had at least 4 variations of "then I have less inventory space" when I tell them about gear swaps, and some even called me a cheater stating "Its a glitch/hack/mod that lets you do that!" Some noobs learn (I happen to have a few I've helped over the years on my FL), but most seem to be noobs by choice.

umm gear swaping isn;t all that great, It hurts the healer also >.> just fyi

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Originally Posted by Rosina

umm gear swaping isn;t all that great, It hurts the healer also >.> just fyi

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/facepalm

It's called <stal>.

If your healer has issues healing while you blink, then that's truly a /facepalm moment.

SE added a nifty little macro to the game that lets you target others and cast on them even if they never even appear on your screen a loooong time ago, but trying to explain that to most people just nets you the "but then I can't target people outside of my party!" excuse.

Oh my God...

*headdesk*