FFXI Limericks (Read for fun!)

[Savlyn]

All in the name of good (bored) fun! I do not mean to offend any job or any one with these poems. They are simply jokes and fun things that I came up with in my spare time today. I am going to attempt to make one for every job, so here are the ones I have so far. Feel free to make up and post your own! (We all know its more entertaining than VW or NeoNyzul)


There once was a Paladin from Bastok
Who thought he was big-man on the block.
He talked lots of trash,
Hit people with Shield Bash,
But then a worm killed him with Rock.

There once was a Thief who wanted infinite wealth,
He stole from people and exploited his wealth.
But he changed jobs to COR,
Gambled and went poor,
And ended up Quick Drawing himself.

Long, long ago, a Red Mage loved kiting,
Also found he excelled at healing and fighting.
But then the level cap raised,
And he scrambled for days,
Only to find the job now uninviting.

There once was a Black Mage named Kiro,
Who wanted to be a casting hero,
But his gear was dishevelled,
For he Abyssea levelled,
And ended up nuking for zero.

There once was a blinded Ranger,
Who put everyone around him in danger.
He used Wide Scan to track,
Barraged people in the back,
Until he got Blinda from a stranger.

With a GreatSword to zerg, but without Resolution,
This Dark Knight attempted to find a solution,
Soul Eater, Last Resort, and the likes,
For extra good measure he put up Dead Spikes,
But when fighting the mob, he just kept on "whoosin".

There once was a SAM from SE,
Who ran around WSing with glee.
But when he started to cry,
SE asked him why,
And he said “please overpower me.”

Scholars studied for years locked in towers,
So out in the world facing dangers, he cowers,
Compared to other mages, he'd sob,
But SE decided to improve his job,
And now Scholars are awesome every two hours.

There once was a PUP who got really offended
When fighting a mob over and over he got bended.
Cus he was taking damage to the face,
The puppet kept trying to erase,
and SE just said “Working as intended.”

There once was a healer who let everyone die,
Party members got mad and started to cry.
No armor did he don,
And he stayed /anon
For he was WAR/WHM, thats why.

There once was a Monk who used a staff,
Everyone around him began to laugh,
So he threw it away and put up a fight,
Knocked every one of their a$$es out right,
Now he partly uses fists, but a pole the other half.


And finally~

There once was a man from Square Enix,
Who rose FF up like a Phoenix.
But then he got the sack,
Tanaka came back,
And now the only fun is these Limerix.

[Alerith]

To the tune of Row Row Row Your Boat:

"Stab, stab, stab the mob, poke him in the eye!
Kick his ass and take his cash, make his mother cry."

This also happens to be my Madrigal macro.

[Saefinn]

Lol, love them, some are pretty accurate too. XD Love the SCH and PUP ones especially...no bias, honest!

[Seriha]

I tell a tale of Red Mages who wish to melee,
But no one would let them have their way.
Given a life of Refresh, Haste, and Cure,
Told it is all you're good and meant for.
Question that? Many insults your way for sure.

[Duzell]

There once was a man from Square Enix,
Who rose FF up like a Phoenix.
But then he got the sack,
Tanaka came back,
And now the only fun is these Limerix.

There once was a man from Square Enix,
Who rose this game up like a Phoenix.
But he got the sack,
Tanaka came back,
So instead of fun we have balance.

[Savlyn]

LOL

I really wanted to end that with "balance" actually, but for the sake of the rhyme... xD Although mine isn't any better

[Zinato]

There once was a place called WoE
Waiting to enter felt slow
Coins for upgrades were bait
And an hour you'll wait
For 5 minutes to fell your foe

There once was an event called Voidwatch
This event the Developers did botch
The event was a bore
Dropping nothing but logs and ore
Viewing spoils was like being kicked in the crotch

This is the story of Dynamis
In this place players did hiss
For a THF would train mobs
Despite the players sobs
And all the mobs could do was miss

A few I came up with waiting for Namtar. Anyway they are ment to be funny and not cause arguments or discussion. (I'm aweful at these kinds of things so I hope I did a decent job)

[Kristal]

Puppetmaster used to be lame
But then the pupdate came
Now the maton is pure win
Spamming Phalanx and Stoneskin
Lolpup is dead, PÜP is the name!

[Savlyn]

Haha awesome guys! Zinato, those are great! Don't worry ^^ I'll post some more later this afternoon.

[Meyi]

These are amazing. :D Keep them up! I bet if Spank came in here he'd have quite a few hilarious limericks to add.

[Zinato]

A few more brought to you by Gargantua and the letters T, o and M

There once was a taru who liked to dance
She would perform in Jeuno at every chance
One day her face turned red
For when she got out of bed
She forgot to put on her pants

Tauri are marvelous creatures
Horns, claws and wings are its features
An adventurer watched mortal ray
With his life he did pay
He should have listened to his teachers

There once was a player named Kyle
Who had been camping an NM Awhile
It finally popped
But when it dropped
He noticed he'd forgotten to start the trial

[Savlyn]

A few more brought to you by Gargantua and the letters T, o and M

There once was a player named Kyle
Who had been camping an NM Awhile
It finally popped
But when it dropped
He noticed he'd forgotten to start the trial

SO TRUE! And hilarious lol

[Saefinn]

Well, I can certainly say my name isn't Kyle. ; ;

[Daniel_Hatcher]

Some are good, most are rubbish.

[Savlyn]

Some are good, most are rubbish.

lol Thanks :D Never find that they're just for fun, right? Good thing you didn't try one, huh? Make a brilliant one that blows all of the other ones away, then I'll accept your opinion. ^^

On a non-derogatory note:

There once was a Sky god named Kirin,
In the hearts of adventurers he put fear in,
He was the king,
Til this Abyssea thing,
And now he just dies when you're near him.

This is the story of a Mithra actually played by a girl,
When people found out their heads started to whirl.
She was harassed by some dudes,
Who told her "send nudes",
And now she plays as an Elvaan named Earl.

There once was a SMN who was in love with her Spirit,
But sadly SE did not want to hear it.
8 years later, SE lowered their MP PERP.
Saying, "That'll fix'em, herp derpa derp!!1"
But now that SMN prefers to use Ifrit.

There was once nearly a player who gave up too soon,
While partying jobs he seemed like a buffoon.
Every bandwagon job he tried
Killed him a little on the inside,
So he fell in love soloing Dragoon.

There once was a WAR who was in such a hurry,
He swung his GA so fast it was blurry,
He was the first to do 5k,
He was a legend, so they say,
Cus now any WAR can with Ukko's Fury.

There once was a master of beasts, birds, and bugs,
Who stood back as his pet tore through Goblin Thugs,
SE then took his Charm,
But meant him no harm,
And now he's just master of Jugs.

There once was a player named Dramaqueen
Who always had to make himself seen.
He was so vain,
He drove people insane,
And so they kicked him to FF Fourteen.


xD Oh the things I think of in class...

[Daniel_Hatcher]

lol Thanks :D Never find that they're just for fun, right? Good thing you didn't try one, huh? Make a brilliant one that blows all of the other ones away, then I'll accept your opinion. ^^

Such an inaccurate comment, and ever so tedious...

I'll leave on: Don't need to be a chef to know the food is bad. Fare-the-well.

[Savlyn]

Such an inaccurate comment, and ever so tedious...

I'll leave on: Don't need to be a chef to know the food is bad. Fare-the-well.

And no one is asking you to eat here. By all means, "Leave on", and pretend to speak intelligently elsewhere so people think you know what you're talking about.

[Saefinn]

Some are good, most are rubbish.

Perhaps be a little more constructive? This just adds nothing and offers nothing to go on.

[Edyth]

There once was a god named Carbuncle
That owned every avatar and its uncle
Till new armor came out
Goodbye MP drought
Now no one hears from Ratbuncle

There once was a bird named Colibri
Roamed East Ronfaure (S) did he
Till time travelers' deeds
And overhunting did lead
To the present situation you see

There once was a courier named Carrie
All beastmasters did swear she
Was an angel in crab's guise
A warrior baptized
I want her to be my canary

There once was a lass named Brigid
Had a strange fancy, she did
Sent adventurers to sewers
So she could smell the manure
In zombies' panties, gods forbid

[Savlyn]

Brilliant! xD

[Zinato]

I want her to be my canary


You win, I award you Fancy Pants +1. These are Rare/ 0.0001% drop off the last VWNM scheduled in Part 5, it is also usable by all jobs. No stats but they sparkle silver, and come with a silver afterglow. Some say they are worth three gold mines and the mountains on top of them. These are the highest honor in FFXI.

[Edyth]

There once was a renegade bugbear
Who all through the forest ran bare
Naked through the breeze
Hugging the trees
Exhibiting his ponderous man pair

I once dated a handsome goblin
Who wanted me to meet his moblins
Incredibly tough
I've had enough
I'm not yours for gobblin'

[Krashport]

There once was a company named Square Enix,
That had a problem with getting things finished.
They let us put items on mules making us look
like fools having us pay for more space.

[Zinato]

There once was a player name John.
Who wrote a wonderful song.
He shouted it in town.
Though it made him frown.
His song was one word too .

Oh and about that win of Edyth's

I want to be your canary is from Final Fantasy IX
A personal favorite of mine
So I made this rhyme
To tell of a time
When I liked SquareSoft games just fine

I've played all 13 Final Fantasy (won't touch XIV until its out of beta) IX is still my favorite.

[Savlyn]

I really loved FinalFantasy IX too,
And an homage to it was long overdue,
I loved all the rest,
But 10 was the best,
And everything past 11 is poo.

[Erics]

There once was a man on BLU,
Who dreamed of doing end game too,
Out came Almace,
Putting Z's on all mobs face,
Now he can be top DD, it's true!