Odd healing question

[Lilyanna]

I've been playing a Whitemage, but I do enjoy getting all the cross class skills that I can to help myself out. (Swift Cast/Eye for an Eye/ETC)

My husband wanted to get Provoke for his WAR by leveling his 15 GLA to 22. Since I need less than 1/3 level for Eye for an Eye on my Scholar, I decided to go heal with her instead of my Whitemage.

In the DF we had two DPS (Lancer and Thaumaturge), and one of them was new so I said outloud to my husband: "Please mark for them". First two mobs go by, I see the Lancer not attacking the "1" target but attacking "2" and pulling aggro. I decide to do it the netural way and say: "Please attack the '1' marked target first". (Giving no names or calling out).

After 10 or so mobs and 2 boss fights later, I hear my husband mumbling to himself because, even with flash, he can't keep the Lancer from attacking the wrong target ... I promptly put Eos away and reframed from healing the Lancer, IF he pulled by attacking the wrong target. (Note: The Mage WAS pulling as well, but was attacking the right target, the reason that the mage would pull is because my husband would swtich targets to try and get threat back from the Lancer).

He keeps himself alive and after the 2nd time you kill the Captain he dies. He says, "heal?". I reply, "If you attacked the right target I would". I know it was bitchy and probably completely rude of me to do so, but sometimes (Like the Bee's in Qarn) it is in the best interest of the Tank/Healer to attack what is marked and get it down.

My husband says something along the lines of, "I know I'm a bad GLA but it helps if you attack what I am attacking." And in reply, all we got was ">.> sigh" (or something like that).

I wanted to know what other healers would do in this situation. I've read tanks saying they make the DPS tank if they pull and I think I've seen a few comments about healers refusing to heal DPS that do stuff like that as well.

Anyway ... Was it wrong of me to do that? Should I have kept Eos out and healed the Lancer? Or was it completely ok to 'teach the DPS a lesson' in this manner?

Thanks

[Splorch]

You did exactly what I would have done pretty much. I carry titan HM a lot with a WAR friend and just do solo heal and solo tank. If the dps stands at absolute max range for the first couple phases, they soon realize that I don't waste the extra mana to heal them individually if they missed out on a medica. It's a good way to teach new players to actually play right, rather than just face rolling the keyboard.

[Taika]

I'd just asked for the tank and the other DD to change the numbering and attack the target the lancer insists to kill first. And then made sure I'd never do anything with the lancer again.

[Kyana]

Anyway ... Was it wrong of me to do that? Should I have kept Eos out and healed the Lancer? Or was it completely ok to 'teach the DPS a lesson' in this manner?

Yes. Nothing wrong with letting a player deal with the problems he causes himself.
You even marked targets for him and told him to attack these targets first. That's common tactic and the way to go if you have many single target DDs.
I hate players on ego trips who think they don't have to work together with the rest of the party, and if I'm tank or healer and such a person won't listen, I'll let him have the fun till he dies.

[Shuon]

When playing tank classes i MIGHT switch my primary target to whatever e lnc was attacking. After all, if all i had to do was to follow the lnc it's lesser trouble for the whole party, and i dont see the need to stroke my tank ego when there r other ways to deal w bad players for the good of the party.

That said, i only do that if im nice. On days when im feeling bitchy i wouldnt care so much.

As a healer yes u wernt doing anything wrong, for the simple reason that ahould u heal him, the mob would most likely have gone after u and killed u.

[VisRalis]

Doesn't hurt much to change markings and just go with what the lancer was attacking.
Once you get past being annoyed about it, it is not a big deal and much better than being annoyed over it for the whole run/until you start getting angry.
Not worth the emotional angst.

[UlricCraft]

There's nothing wrong with teaching someone a lesson, and I can appreciate it's hard/tiresome having to try and explain everything to everyone.

But I don't think what you did was right.
Honestly, you're in a level 15-22 dungeon where healing is very very minimal typically. Usually I spend my time throwing out DPS to waste my mana.
Having to heal two people is no difficult feat and probably provides you something to do!

It may slow the dungeon down 5minutes because you're not DPSing as much, but that's not significant enough to let the DD die.
Time not DPSing vs. time DD is dead

This feels childish.
If he was wiping you all, I'd understand.

Someone else made the suggestion of switching to whatever ignorant DD is focussing. Another solution!

As for high level play where people do this sort of thing, well, PUNISH THEM!

If a DD dies in anything except DPS walls, they stay dead.

[Maku]

I would do the same. Let him die as many times as it took to sink in.

[Nettle]

I would have said something about kill order but nothing more than that, having to realize the price of DF is an occasional bad apple. If it was someone on my server, I'd make a note to never party with him again.

If anything, have the tank switch up marking if a dps refuses to listen. If the other dps is good they will adjust. Letting a dps die out of spite does nothing except start fights and slow down a dungeon run.

[Pheenam]

I would have done exactly that. You asked DD to attack marked target. Still wasn't happening through a few pulls. I would have announced at that point "If you aren't attacking the right target and pull aggro I will not heal you.". Then I would have proceeded to let that happen. Most of the lower level dungeons can be 3 manned anyways . If he continues now to try and disrupt the party in spite of not receiving heals a vote kick would be the next step.

Not passive aggressive because I state my problems and intentions and then consequences of not properly adhering. You need to treat some of these folks like kids because as I have found out a lot of them are/ or still have that mentality.