There was plenty of elitism (You're the wrong job/in the wrong gear/eating the wrong food to go 2-shot things in a merit party) and plenty of MPK/claim/drama wars on any given XI server. And plenty of the same (sometimes mistold) linkshell chat about "OMG this party sucks/is so slow/etc.) It's mostly nostalgia. I met some of the best online friends I'll ever have in FFXI. I also met some people I might not hesitate to punch in the face if given the opportunity. Any community is what you make of it.
The only advantage I see to XI is (at least when I played) your reputation being tied to your server/name/etc. There were no transferring/name swaps/etc and the worst of the worst did manage to outcast themselves.