This is exactly the experience I had in my old linkshell that was unusually large. A number of people wanted to do things, but they were nowhere near skilled or geared enough to come, thus making them deadweight. I acknowledge that there is a lot of legwork needed to be done to participate in this content, but the issue is, there were a number of them in this position. They were all expecting me or some of the other senior LS members to continue organizing events for them. At some point, they need to take it upon themselves to get this stuff done. I don't mind helping people. Babysitting on the other hand I can't stand.
A lot of these new/returning players want to skip steps. If you're good enough, you might be able to take two steps at a time. But these newbies want to walk up the entire flight of stairs in a single step, and then they get frustrated and mad at everybody else when they fail and fall down like an idiot. I find a lot of people who "fail" at this game are the ones who never take it upon themselves to get out of the position they're in (always being excluded or left behind).
I do agree that there are times when being discouraged to team up is bad for the game. I never liked the exp penalty for forming a party. It felt like a punishment for wanting to work with another player. I also agree that the whole 119 ilvl label is incredibly misleading. But as I previously stated, I hate babysitting. Everybody needs help from time to time, but the handholding is doing nobody any favors. New/returning players get the wrong impression when they become the beneficiaries of this.