This is sadly the case now, the vast majority of players were considered casual back in the day...the remaining small portion that did serious endgame was filled almost entirely with aholes (as provoen by the disgusting HNM community). Now they made endgame more accessable almost anything with a pulse can get the best gear, so the ahole ratio has become rather epic (almost to wow standards), usually people that think having +2 and an emp is something impressive.Abyssea turned out a lot more douchebags than the old hnm end game, every two bit gimp now can get good gear and empyrean weapons and they all think there hot stuff.
As for OP, although I agree with you to a point it's really hard to find anything even slightly on par with XI. I tried a lot of MMO's and nothing came close, so as much as it pains me to agree with what some are saying...you probably will be back before too long. When you really do quit a game you know your done, you won't make any goodbye posts and will lose total intrest in anything to do with the game, including forums etc.